Just another Phan story
by sunglasseslad0800
Summary: So this is my first Phan story, please enjoy! I update fairly regularly:-) please review:D
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: **

Phil's POV:

I sat nibbling on a slice of toast whilst watching some pointless reality show, in the middle of the afternoon there is never anything on. My best friend Dan sat on the sofa that formed an L-shape with mine. He sat with his legs folded underneath him and his laptop on top, this was how we spent most of our days in our apartment. I couldn't complain though, Dan and myself always seemed to find fun in everything small thing we did. Whether it was baking pancakes or playing old video games.

Dan and I have been friends for almost four years now, it sounds cheesy but I can barely even remember a time when he wasn't part of my life. Noticing his comment on my video was one of the best things that had ever happened to me.

I watched him frown to himself as he tried to edit his new video, his eyebrows burrowed and he let out a sigh every so often. I had noticed he hadn't been in a good mood all week – but he had shrugged it off all week, saying he wasn't feeling well. I had just assumed he'd had a fight with his girlfriend Leah or something. I didn't like to ask about Leah for two reasons: I felt like I was intruding somewhere I didn't belong and because in all honesty I just didn't like talking about her. Dan couldn't see it, but there was just something weird about her – she was really controlling and didn't like just spending time in the apartment playing video games or watching a movie (Dan's ideal girl). And the more Dan saw her, the less I saw of him – which was always a bad thing. But of course I didn't like to talk about that either, I didn't like to be the attention seeking friend. I just wanted Dan to be happy.

I reached out for my laptop that sat on the table, and read through my latest mentions on twitter. One tweet from a fan in particular caught my eye: 'Phil, why can't you just admit your love for Dan?' the girl asked.

"I don't know" I said out loud without meaning too.

Dan looked up at me, "What?" He said, looking confused.

"Oh sorry" I said trying to brush it off, "I was just talking to myself".

Dan shrugged and went back to working on his laptop, I could feel my cheeks burn red. I didn't love Dan, did I? I mean of course I did, as a friend – but nothing more. Yet I couldn't even seem to fool myself. I looked up and quickly glanced at Dan, I felt light-headed. I wasn't gay, my whole life I had liked girls, I had girlfriends. Never before had I felt this way about a boy. My cheeks felt like they were on fire, I was embarrassed – like Dan could hear my thoughts – which was just stupid.

I peeked up at him one last time, I couldn't be in love with my best friend. What was I going to do?

Dan's POV:

It was Wednesday afternoon and I was sitting in the living room editing a video for tomorrow. The editing was boring but it had to be done, fans were already tweeting me asking when the video would be up. My phone buzzed beside me, Leah – again. Leah is my on and off girlfriend of a good couple of months now. 'Coming over tonight? Love you x' the text read. My heart sunk, going over to her house was the last thing I wanted to do right now. The words 'Love you' stuck in my head, I mean sure I had said it back to her plenty of times but I had never really been sure if I had meant it. I don't think I have ever been properly in love before, or if I have it was a total let down compared to what movies and books say. I have had more girlfriends that you could count on both hands and sure I liked them all, but there was never this so called 'spark' people apparently experience.

Phil said something and completely knocked me off my train of thought, I looked up at him.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh sorry I was just talking to myself" he said smiling awkwardly at then looking back down at his laptop.

Classic Phil I thought to myself.

My eyes began burning I had been looking at my screen for so long, who ever said being a YouTuber was easy? I had a slight stomach ache and my head pounded, the editing had consumed so much of my day I hadn't even eaten anything yet.

I heard my phone buzz beside me again and this time I was tempted to take it and chuck it half way across the room. It was probably partly due to the fact that I had been staring at this computer screen my entire day.

"Phil, I need to get out of this house" I said, "Fancy going into town for a while?".

"Anything is better than whatever this is" He said pointing to the TV.

I shot him a grin back, and then headed to my room to get changed out of sweats and into something more outside world appropriate. I sighed as I looked in the mirror, staring at my hobbit hair. Phil and the fans always told me it looked fine, nice even but no matter how many compliments I got I still considered it to be atrocious. I pulled my brown fluffy hat on and I was ready.

Phil and I both walked out of our rooms at the same time, both wearing black skinny jeans – I couldn't help but laugh. There wasn't anyone else in this entire world who was more in sync with me than Phil, I guess that's why we get along so well.

Despite the fact Leah and the new video were both weighing on mine, the fresh air hitting my face was such a relief. My stomach ache had become way more intense and I was beginning to feel light-headed.

"I seriously need food" I told Phil.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil's POV:

I sat across the table from Dan, in his favourite pizza restaurant. His mood seemed to be improving but he still seemed down. His phone had buzzed at least ten times since we had sat down at our table, I spent ten minutes trying to built up the courage to ask him what was wrong. I know how stupid that sounds but I don't want to seem interfering.

"Dan, are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm just tired and Leah won't stop texting" He said tucking into a new slice of pizza.

"I thought you liked her?" I asked him.

"Yeah I guess, but there's just no spark" He answered, looking down at his food.

"Well you haven't been going out for long" I tried to reassure him, no matter how much it hurt.

"It's been months Phil" He drawled.

My heart jumped, but at the same time I knew that if it wasn't Leah it would just be some other girl. Dan wasn't gay, he likes girls, he'd always liked girls. I had to admit that there was no chance, he was never going to feel the same way. The thought of coming out scared me, would Dan act differently towards me? And what would Pj and Chris and all my other friends think? The thought made me slightly nauseous.

I turned round to Dan clicking his fingers in my face.

"Wow you were completely out of it there" Dan said.

"Erm, sorry" I said.

"C'mon let's go get drunk" He said throwing money on the table and standing up.

"Dan we can't just go get drunk" I told him.

"Well why not?" He said and then walked off.

-An Hour Later-

I sat watching Dan knock back a beer, this was his third one along with some vodka shots. Needless to say he was suitably drunk. Whereas I was barely through my second beer, someone had to carry Dan home.

"Phil can we go get a Chinese?" he asked innocently.

"Dan we only had pizza" I told him.

"Please Phil" He said giving me puppy dog eyes.

I looked into his big brown eyes, eyes that would make me do anything for Dan.

I shook my head and steered him towards the train station, he walked reasonably obediently bar the odd song from High school musical every so often. I couldn't help but laugh at my drunk friend. Quickly, I ushered Dan onto our train and into the seat beside me. We had a thirty minute train ride.

We sat in silence for fifteen minutes, which was almost a relief after his singing. I checked my phone and scrolled through my mentions. Suddenly I felt Dan's head fall into my shoulder and quiet snores come from beside me. I tilted my head to look at him, deep asleep on my shoulder. A smile creeped up upon my face and a warm feeling radiated in my stomach – I couldn't help but feel like this is how it was supposed to be.

After dragging Dan off the train and up the steps home, I helped him to his room. Where he then decided to make a video about how much we loved me, which although made me smile at the time I knew Dan would regret it in the morning. I considered helping him get changed but it didn't seem like a great idea. I stood in his doorway as he crawled into bed and collapsed face down.

"Phil?" He said just as I was about to close the door.

"Yes Dan?" I replied.

"I can't sleep" He said, almost child-like. "Come and sit with me".

He pulled back his covers and patted his mattress.

"Dan..." I said, trying to stop myself from immediately jumping into bed with him.

After he flashed me the puppy dog eyes a couple of times I found myself next to him, claiming I was only staying for a couple of minutes. Like I said, I just couldn't resist those eyes. Before I knew it, he was asleep: curled up into my side. And I was dozing off with heavy eyes, how could I leave now?

Dan's POV:

Pounding headache, blurry eyes – someone next to me. My blurry awakening was sped up as I realized someone was next to me. I was curled up next to someone and it was Phil.

I nudged him and watched him slowly open his eyes and stretch out. He seemed calm until he noticed where he was.

"Yeah, hi Phil. So erm, why are you in my bed?" I asked him.

"Oh because you were drunk and you wanted me to keep you company and then I must have fell asleep" He said.

My cheeks burned red, I was an embarrassing drunk – I knew that already. I dreaded to think what else I did last night.

"Oh god, what else did I do?" I asked.

"Well you tried to make a video on your laptop confessing your love for me, luckily I confiscated your laptop" He smiled, handing me my laptop back.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil's POV:

I had, had an awful feeling in feeling in my stomach for the majority of the day, my mind kept wondering if Dan thought I was weird for staying in bed with him. I tried to tell myself he hadn't given it much more thought, but I couldn't convince myself. He had been in his room for most of the day, most likely avoiding me.

I was sat in the living room on the sofa answering Vyou questions half-heartedly. A number of phan tweets appeared in my mentions and the sight of each of them made me feel nauseous. I wanted to go into Dan's room and offer him a coffee or something, but something kept talking me out of it.

'When are you going to make another Phil is not on fire?' one of the tweets read, mentioning both me and Dan.

'Soon hopefully' I tweeted back. This wasn't a complete lie, Dan and I had spoke about making another one soon.

A couple of minutes later Dan appeared from his room, he looked like he was slowly but surely getting over his hangover – his skin tone was almost back to it's usual tan self. He walked over to the kitchen and made himself some tea and grabbed a packet of digestives.

"You know" He said sitting on the sofa "We should make another Phil is not on fire".

A smile beamed on my face, videos with both Dan and I in them were always fun to make.

"Okay, when?" I asked.

"How about now?" Dan answered.

"Aren't you hungover?" I asked.

"I'm recovering, plus I'll feel better if I'm doing something useful" he replied.

-Half an hour later-

"Phil, touch Dan's neck" I said reading out the question.

"No fhfuhggfv argh!" Dan squealed as I reached out and touched his neck.

A couple of weeks ago he revealed to the fans how much he hated people touching his neck, they hadn't let it go since. The whole thing was pretty funny actually.

Dan fell onto his side and curled up due to me touching hid neck, I fell down next to him still touching his neck for badness. He screamed repeatedly and begged me to stop. But next thing I knew the tables had turned and I was on my back with Dan pinning me down whilst tickling me.

"Dan-stop-please" I cried through the laughter.

"Now you feel my pain" He grinned and continued to tickle me.

I pushed him to the side, so he fell beside me on the bed. The battle of tickling and neck touching continued, rolling around the bed until Dan had pinned me down and this time, I was too tired to fight back. I looked up at his big brown eyes and his now scruffy hair. Shivers flew down my spine, it was like we were frozen in the moment and there was nothing I could to stop myself from falling into his eyes. For a second, I almost believed Dan felt it too.

"C'mon we need to finish this video" He said suddenly jumping up.

He reached out his hand to pull me up and then placed himself on the edge of the bed, facing the camera.

Dan's POV:

I watched back some of the stuff we filmed today, I watched myself and Phil wrestle on the bed and I couldn't help but grin to myself. I couldn't help but wonder whether Phil would leave that bit out of the uploaded copy. Phan was already a huge deal within our fans, this might tip them over the edge. Phil never really addressed the topic in any of his videos or live shows or anything, but I had never really thought much of it.

In other news I accepted Leah's invitation to come over tonight, tonight is the night I am going to dump her. Someone once said 'don't be in a relationship with someone you can't see a future with' – I couldn't see myself settling down with her, not only in the nearby future but ever.

With this new found discovery I was feeling pretty great, bar the hangover of course. Sooner or later I am going to find the right person, I just don't know where to look yet.

So sorry Dan's POVs are always so much shorter than Phil's, for this particular story I just find it easier to write from Phil's perspective. I think it'll get easier as the story progresses. I hope even a couple of people are enjoying it, and it you have any ideas just review me – or tweet me at FizzyDanosaur ^-^


	4. Chapter 4

Phil's POV:

Dan was out for the night so that left me in the house alone, he had gone to see Leah again – I guess they sorted out whatever they were fighting about it. I know I'm supposed to be happy my best friend has sorted things out with his girlfriend, but Dan is more than a best friend to me now.

At least editing Phil is not on fire 4 kept my mind of things. Of course I took frequent tumblr breaks, I scrolled down the screen reblogging pretty much everything I saw. I noticed a GIF at the bottom of the page, it was of me and Dan from the first ever Phil is not on fire, I smiled remembering how Dan and I hadn't really known each other for that long then. I don't think then, I would ever have even thought Dan would become so important to me.

Doing anything I could to keep my mind off Dan and procrastinate from the editing I checked my rarely used Facebook. It was suitably boring, I assumed most people actually had lives and were out with their friends. I saw the name Leah appear on the news feed 'Can't wait for my boyfriend to come over tonight3' my stomach flipped a little, and not in the good nervous butterflies way. I didn't know what Dan saw in her, sure she was pretty but she barely had a personality and she was always forcing him to go places he didn't want to go. _Why couldn't he like someone who suited him better, like me? _

I searched through Dan's profile next, looking through his tagged pictures. There seemed to be a recurring theme throughout: Dan with a girl, Dan with his arm around a girl, Dan laughing with a girl and so on. Even though I knew I didn't have a chance, deep down I always thought that one day Dan would come around. One day he would come home and tell me that I'm the one he likes, but that dream seemed to become more and more unlikely every single day. Maybe I should just give up.

Dan's POV:

I was five minutes away from Leah's house and was currently psyching myself up to do what I was about to do. I was quite nervous, breaking up with someone was never fun, plus I always seemed to say the wrong thing. But at the same time, I felt a sense of freedom – no more texts, or being dragged out on double dates with her friends.

I buzzed in on her apartment and waited for her to open her door. She stood there in a short black dress and her hair curled. As I got further into her apartment I saw a table lit up with candles and two plates of food. My heart sunk, how was I going to break up with her now?

"Hey babe!" She said planting a kiss on my lips.

"Hey" I said, untangling myself from her.

I watched her make her way over to her dinner table and look pleased with herself. How was I gonna get out of this one?

We sat at the table, I pushed my food around the plate – for once I wasn't in the mood for food. Leah tried to make conversation but it just seemed like noise in the background. I wanted to be anywhere but here, I wanted to be back at home – playing sonic with Phil – even despite how bad he is at it.

"Dan are you even listening to me?" She screeched.

"Yes of course I am" I told her.

She rolled her eyes and continued talking, as it mean as it sounds I couldn't help but wonder what I ever saw in her. I felt my phone vibrate, it was Phil.

"Hello" I said.

"Hey Dan, will you be home for dinner?" He asked.

"Yes definitely" I replied and hung up.

"Listen Leah I have to take off" I told her.

"Already? It hasn't even been an two hours" She replied.

"Sorry, Phil's sick. He needs someone to make him tea and toast" I answered.

"You always pick Phil over me" She complained.

She had a point, I did always pick Phil over her. In fact, I'd pick Phil over most people – not that I'd ever tell him that. He was the only person that never let me down, any time I ever had a problem, he was there to help.

"He's my best friend" I told her. After a simple kiss on the cheek I was out of there.

I picked up a Chinese and I was on my way home, Phil and I spent the entire night playing xbox and stuffed Chinese into our faces. Leah and her dinner seemed like a lifetime away.

"So how was Leah's? You didn't stay long" Phil asked putting his controller down.

"It was alright" I said stuffing some salted chilli chicken into my mouth.

"Just alright?" He asked.

Phil always knew when I was hiding something, no matter how well I hid it.

"I don't know, like I said there's just no spark" I told him.

"Well just dump her" Phil said smiling, like it was just as easy as that.

"Ugh why can't I just find that right person?" I sighed.

"You never know Dan, sometimes they are right in front you and you just haven't realized yet" Phil said starting another game of sonic.


	5. Chapter 5

Phil's POV:

I sat in the milkshake cafe with Chris, Dan and PJ. I half-heartedly listened in to their conversation about girls, each discussing their girlfriends. I felt out of place, I was never going to be like them. I watched as Dan and threw his head back as he laughed at something Chris had said, I was never gonna be enough for him.

Today I was feeling down, more down than I had felt in a while. For the past few weeks I had pushed everything down but today as I woke up, it kind of hit me – I was gay. And along with that, Dan wasn't. It sounds stupid but I felt like everyone who saw me in the street knew exactly who I was and they couldn't accept it. At first I didn't even want to leave the house, but once again Dan persuaded me with his big brown eyes and cheeky grin. Chris and PJ met us there, I hadn't seen them in weeks.

"So Phil, any girls on the go?" PJ asked.

"Erm" I spluttered, "No not really".

"That's a shame, a good looking guy like yourself" PJ joked.

I forced a grin on my face back. I noticed Dan watching me, cautiously eyeing me up – almost like he knew something was wrong. Suddenly his eyes flicked back to PJ. I felt a bit nauseous as Dan told Chris and PJ about Leah, for weeks now he had said he was going to dump her and stupidly each time I got my hopes up. I couldn't help but feel a little hopeless, is this what living in one of those tragic romance movies is like? - Knowing that the one person who is perfect for you will never like you back.

We left the milkshake cafe and jumped into PJ's car, he was the only one out of our wee group that actually had a car. Chris and Dan sat in the back and PJ and I in the front, his car smelt kind of like a mixture of aftershave and pringles. He began driving us back to Dan and I's apartment, where we were going to watch a movie.

For it being the middle of the day, the roads were quite clear – it looked like we were going to be back to the apartment within ten minutes. We drove down an open road going forty miles an hour – PJ was always conscious about his speed. There seemed to be nobody else on the road, except for that one person quickly pulling out – right in front of us.

"PJ" I shouted.

PJ swerved, trying to miss the incoming car who hadn't even seemed to notice what was about to happen. But it was too late.

**Crash**

Our car flipped,more than once from what I could remember. As I opened my eyes, our car was upside down. Other than the stream of blood coming from the top of my head I was fine. I looked to the left of me, PJ had his eyes shut. I shook his shoulder.

"PJ!" I hissed.

His eyes flickered and slowly he looked towards me.

"Sorry" He said weakly.

"It's okay buddy, it wasn't your fault" I smiled.

I suddenly came into the realization of what had just happened and also, who was in the back of the car. I flung my seatbelt off and looked behind my seat.

"Dan! Dan" I shouted.

My heart thud as I looked behind me, I didn't want to look behind me. I would have given my own life just for Dan not to have been in the car. Slowly, I peaked around my seat. There he lay, his face cut and bruised. The window beside him: smashed, where I assume his head must have hit it. His neck was cocked to side, making his head droop on to his shoulder. My eyes stung but I blinked back the tears. Meanwhile Chris lay there, not looking much better than Dan.

_Please let me wake up from this horrible dream._

"Are you okay?" Said a middle aged man from my window.

He had crouched down to be level with me, his had sliver hair and crinkles on the side of each of his eyes.

"I'm okay, but my friends aren't. Please get help" I begged him.

"The ambulance is on it's way" The man said.

"Phil, my arm" PJ cried from beside me.

"Try not to move Peej, the ambulance is on it's way" I tried my best to console him.

As much as I tried to keep PJ calm, I, myself was having trouble keeping calm. The worst thoughts ran through my head, no matter how much I tried to push them out. What if something serious happened to either Dan or Chris?

Before I knew there was two ambulances and a fire engine on the road. The firemen cut me out of the car first, no matter how many times I begged them to attend Chris and Dan first. PJ was pulled out second, he was taken straight to the ambulance. I stuck around and waited for Dan, I couldn't bear the thought of Dan being in the ambulance alone. The noises from the tools they used made me nauseous, the screech of metal and the voices planning what their next move was. Everything around me was like a blur as I waited for Dan to be rescued.

Chris and PJ were taken away in the first ambulance, I couldn't bring myself to go with them. Dan was left to the end, his situation was worse than everyone else's. He had head trauma and possible spinal injuries. I watched through blurry, tear filled eyes as Dan was pulled out from the car and immediately put on a stretcher. Immediately I ran beside him and dropped to my knees, he looked awful – worse than awful.

"Sir stand back" a man in uniform said sternly.

Suddenly two paramedics ran towards Dan, I couldn't make out what they were doing at first.

"What's happening?" I yelled, with no response.

"Keep going" I heard the woman paramedic say.

As I looked round my worst fears had been confirmed, I watched as the paramedic tried to get Dan's heart to start. He pumped on his chest, I watched anxiously. It didn't feel like real life, more like a bad nightmare where sooner or later I'd wake up – except this time I wouldn't.

"Got it" The man smiled.

"Okay get him into the ambulance" The woman said.

"Are you coming to sir? You might wanna get that head checked out" The male paramedic said.

I nodded and climbed in beside Dan, I took his hand.

"He'll be okay right?" I asked.

"Hard to say right now, he has possible spinal and head injuries" The woman said glumly.

_Dan you have to be okay._

**Okay so I hadn't originally planned to do a car crash but hey car crash! I had some writers block and then as soon as I started writing the car crash it got easier to write. Hope you liked it! Please review it and follow it and also follow me on twitter FizzyDanosaur and I will love you forever! P.S did everyone see the pictures of Dan, Phil and PJ in their suits?! OH HOLY MOLY. P.P.S Thank you Hi_im_Rebecca for helping me brainstorm ideas! BYE GUYS!**


	6. Chapter 6

Phil's POV:

I sat in the waiting room and watched people come and go, I replayed this afternoons events in my head so many times. Why didn't I do this, or shout 'PJ' sooner? I had been sitting here for what felt like days, dozens of nurses passed but none knew anything about Dan. I worried for my best friend, what would I do without him?

PJ had a pretty badly broken arm and Chris had a severe concussion, broken ribs and a broken leg. I got off the best, I had cut my head and bruised my ribs but that was nothing compared to what the others were going through. In my head, I asked God so many times; why couldn't it have been me in that back seat?

Dan's Mum and Dad were on their way down from Manchester along with Dan's little brother. The phone call to his Mum was one of the worst things I had ever done. Hearing his Mum break down on the phone and not even being able to assure her that everything was alright was the worst part. I almost dreaded their arrival, what could I say? It was nearly twelve o'clock at night now and my eyes stung from the lack of sleep, but I fought the urge to sleep – at least not until I knew what was wrong with Dan.

At around 12:20am a Doctor came out, finally. He wore a professional looking white coat, like they do in all the movies. He looked tired and worn out, I'd imagine being a doctor would do that to you.

"Daniel Howell?" He said as he walked into the waiting room.

A few heads popped up and looked around, I got up off my seat and made my way towards him.

"Are you family?" He asked.

"No, I'm his room-mate. His family are on their way here now, they are coming from Manchester" I told him.

He nodded, "We have managed to stabilize Mr Howell's condition. But he isn't completely out of the woods yet, we fear he has head trauma. So he has been put into a drug-induced coma".

I had watched enough medical shows to know what that meant.

"When will he be able to come out of the coma?" I asked.

"There is no set time, it could be hours, days or even weeks" He said bluntly.

"Can I see him yet?" I asked hopefully.

"Soon, a nurse will come and get you when you can see him" He replied.

The Doctor walked off, heading to another ward. I could never be a Doctor, I could never deliver bad news so heartlessly like that. Having to watch peoples' lives shatter right in front of them as they told them their loved one was gone, just like that.

A nurse came and got me ten minutes later, my legs shook with anticipation. I wasn't sure what to expect, how bruised and beaten would he look? My heart pounded thinking about it. I followed the young, brown haired nurse in, she didn't look much older than me. My eyes immediately jumped towards how small and weak Dan looked in the bed and how many wires were connected to him. I wanted to walk over and throw my arms around him and give him the biggest hug. I wanted him to wake up and shout at me for waking him up. My eyes filled with tears as I took the seat next to his bed.

"Dan" I said, "You'd better wake up soon, what will the Danosaurs do without you? What will I do without you?"

I took his hand, it was warm but lifeless. His face was covered in purple bruises and a large cut at the right side – where he went through the window. His knuckles and arms were cut also, along with a few scratches and bruises on his chest. For some reason, I pictured Dan jumping up and trying to brush it all off saying he was fine – because that was just like Dan. He could never admit he needed help. In all my years of knowing Dan, not once had I ever seen him cry – not when he burnt his hand making pancakes and not even at the last Harry Potter movie.

The doors suddenly burst open and I noticed a tear had trickled down my cheek. I wiped it away and turned around – it was Dan's Mum, closely followed by his Dad and brother. Dan looked a lot like his parents and his brother. He had his Mum's deep brown eyes and his Dad's tan skin and his brother, looked like a mini Dan. I watched as his Mum's eyes filled with tears and streamed down his face, his Dad put his arm around her.

"Oh Phil" Mrs Howell cried, she ran over and threw her arms around me. I buried my head into her shoulder and sobbed uncontrollably. I didn't know where it came from, but it almost felt good to get it out.

She stroked my hair and then pulled away, her mascara down her face.

"What happened?" She asked glumly.

"A car pulled out in front of us without checking first, PJ tried to swerve the car and we crashed slightly into the other car and then the car flipped" I told her.

"Oh Daniel" She said, making her way over to the seat I was originally sitting in and taking his hand.

The nurse had come within five minutes and had filled her in with what was wrong with Dan. Mrs Howell asked about PJ and Chris and then offered me the chance to go home for a sleep, which I declined. I wanted to be here when Dan woke up, whether it was today or tomorrow or next week. Due to all the madness, I had forgotten to call my own family – my Mum insisted on coming down later that day, which I couldn't turn down. Within half an hour, I had fallen asleep in the big chair in the corner of Dan's hospital room._ It was going to be a long night._

**Ok so this was kind of a boring chapter, so apologies. But I didn't want to write one of those unrealistic stories where Dan was in a coma and then the next day he's better and ready to go home (no offence to people who write stories like that). Of course I can't make it too realistic or else it'll drag on but whatever, I'll come to some happy medium. I got two nice reviews and honestly it meant the world to me, I didn't expect anyone to read it so thank you so much! Twitter: FizzyDanosaur ^-^**


	7. Chapter 7

Dan's POV:

"You'd better wake up soon, what will the Danosaurs do without you? What will I do without you?" I heard Phil's voice, I felt him hold my hand.

I tried to open my eyes, where was Phil why can't I see him? Where am I?

"Phil, I'm here. I am awake" I said, but my mouth wouldn't work.

Wherever I was, it was getting progressively darker. I could hear Phil speaking, I could hear other familiar voices – but no-one could see me and I couldn't see them. My neck hurt and face stung, I felt myself drift towards the darkness, I tried to stop it at first. But it was hard to resist, I decided to just let myself go to the darkness. Everything seemed calmer and quieter there, my eyes felt heavy. _What was going on?_

Phil's POV:

I entered the hospital room again, Dan had been out for a few days now and I had been at his side for all but one hour. Mrs Howell forced me to go home to eat, sleep and shower – but who could sleep at a time like this? But the shower was something I needed, along with a bacon sandwich from the cafe across the road. The hospital was becoming all too familiar too me, the white walls, the uncomfortable green seats. _Dan why can't you just wake up so we can go home? _

The phans had begun to notice Dan's disappearance from Twitter and Tumblr and every other site he's on. I didn't have the heart to tell them what happened, but once PJ had tweeted about his arm their imaginations went wild. I sat down at my laptop which I had just brought from home, the first idea was too make a video but I wasn't up for that. Instead, I sent out a post on Tumblr.

It read: 'Guys, I have been reading your tweets and comments about where Dan is. And as much as I hate to tell you all this, Dan, PJ, Chris and I were all involved in a bad car crash. Dan took the worst injuries out of the four of us, he is currently in a drug induced-coma so please don't think we are neglecting the phandom – if Dan was awake I'm sure he'd hate the thought that you all think that. PJ and I have already been discharged from hospital and Chris is making a speedy recovery but Dan wasn't so lucky. Please pray that Dan wakes up soon and please bear with us, thank you Phans3'.

My hands shook as I sent the post out, within seconds of posting it out they were already thirty comments. 'I'm actually crying' one read, my eyes filled with tears. I guess I just find it hard to accept that if there is a God then why is Dan in that bed? Why is it him and not some murderer or cheater somewhere? Dan is so loved.

Whilst I was back at the house, I brought some stuff with me – stuff Dan would want when he wakes up. I made sure I had his laptop and some malteasers amongst other stuff. The nurse told me that he could maybe hear me when I spoke to him, I spent most of my days talking to him. I played his favourite muse songs off my laptop in hope that the music would wake him up, I even tried music I knew he hated – nothing worked.

I sat down beside his bed, I couldn't believe he had been out for four days now. It all seemed like a blur, like the crash was just yesterday. I look up old YouTube videos, ones Dan and I had made together – ones like Philisnotonfire and AmazingDan. To my surprise, I found myself laughing and smiling for the first time in days.

"Giraffes don't make noises, how many times do I have to tell you?" Dan said.

I burst out laughing, remembering how long Dan and I argued about it. I listening to my impression and saw Dan's smile.

"P-phil" I turned around.

"Giraffes don't make noises" He croaked.

"Dan" I smiled and flung myself at him.

"Ow" He said quietly.

"Sorry" I smiled, pulling myself away from him.

"It's okay" He said half-smiling and then closing his eyes again.

"NURSE NURSE, MRS HOWELL" I screamed, "Dan woke up!".

The nurse ran into, followed by Mrs Howell who was at the coffee machine. The nurse ran by his side and grabbed his hand.

"Dan, if you can hear me can you squeeze my hand?" She asked calmly.

I watched his hand closely, almost like a hawk. As much as I tried not too, I got my expectations up. A couple of his fingers twitched, the nurse called the doctor in and ushered Mrs Howell and I out the door to wait in the waiting room – a room I knew too well.

"Do you think he's okay?" His Mum asked, with worry in her eyes.

"I'm sure he is, it's Dan, he's tough" I told her, honestly believing my words.

"Did he really speak to you?" As she asked her eyes brightened up.

I nodded, I didn't want to be out here – I wanted to be in there with him, holding his hand. Mrs Howell went to call Dan's father and brother who were back at our apartment getting showers. I tried not to get to excited, I knew that some people woke up for brief periods of time and then went back to an unconscious state. It was just talking to him again, since knowing Dan I had never went longer than a day without speaking to him – even when we were in different countries. I just wanted him home again, I wanted him back on the sofa playing sonic with me.

I tried to peek in through the windows of the door leading into Dan's room, despite the fact that there were curtains over the window a small bit still wasn't covered. Dan was surrounded by Doctors and nurses, yet I couldn't see him.

**I really hope I'm not dragging this out too much, I want it to be realistic but not take like seven chapters just for him to wake up . This was a boring chapter, the next one will hopefully be better – I just had to set some stuff up in this chapter. Thank you for the nice reviews, honestly I appreciate it so much, you have no idea! SO YEAH THANKS! Follow me on twitter: FizzyDanosaur :D **


	8. Chapter 8

Phil's POV:

I sat around waiting for hours, staring at the same white wall. I was to anxious to do anything, I couldn't sit still. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop fidgeting. The doctor told us it was just a matter of time now, Dan had proven responsive and now all we had to do was wait for him to wake up. It was 2:00am now, we had been waiting for over six hours. I sent Mrs Howell home two hours ago to get some sleep and promised to phone her as soon as he woke up. There was no way I was going home of course, I couldn't let Dan wake up to an empty hospital room.

In my head, I had gone over what would happen when he wakes up so many times. He would open his beautiful brown eyes and get kind of freaked out. But I would be there to reassure him and then I would tell him. Tell him how much I loved him, tell him how I much I had missed him and that my life would never be the same without him. These past days in the hospital made me realize how much we took for granted, I wondered if Dan ever even knew how important he was to me.

I took my phone out of my pocket and played angry birds in honour of Dan, I kept hearing his voice in my head saying "I'm playing angry birds bitch" which brought a smile to my face.

More hours passed and the anxiety was killing me. I sat next to him, my face propped up upon my arm. My eyes felt heavy and I tried to stop them closing but I hadn't slept properly in days.

"Phil, Phil wake up" Dan said, bouncing on my bed.

"What is it Dan?" I asked through blurry eyes.

"Come make pancakes with me" He smiled.

I couldn't say no to those brown eyes and his perfect smile, the dimples just made it impossible to say no. I stuck on the first hoodie I could find and followed him to the kitchen. Of course Dan had to use the Delia Smith method, so I watched as he opened up the cookbook and whittered on about random Delia Smith facts, _he made it impossible not to love him._

Dan's POV:

Sore head, blurry eyes, dry throat. I tried to focus my eyes, _where was I? _The room was completely, bar the one green chair. I was in bed, but not my bed – the duvet was different and smelt strange. I built up the strength to look around me, there was Phil sitting by my side, asleep. _Oh God, I'm in hospital. _My mind immediately ran through possibilities of how I ended up here, but it hurt to think.

I attempted calling out Phil's name, but it came out as almost a muffled cry. My throat was too dry to say anything at all. I slightly nudged my arm, hoping that would be enough to wake Phil up.

His eyes flickered, then his mouth began moving. He sat himself up and rubbed his eyes and then gave a loud stretch. He looked at myself and his face went paler than normal.

"Dan?" He smiled.

I signalled to him telling him I needed water, by pointing to my mouth and gesturing a cup. But he had already flung his arms around me, he was a lot warm than I felt so I buried my face in his shoulder. I had the sudden urge to cry, but I held it in. Phil pulled away.

"Oh sorry, your water" He said as his hand shot to his mouth. I had a sudden flashback of Phil laughing and covering his mouth with his hand.

He poured the water and then helped me drink it, my arms were far to shaky to do anything.

"How did I get here?" I asked, still slightly croaky.

Phil's POV:

"How did I get here?" Dan asked, a bit gruffly.

I couldn't believe he was here, sat talking to me. The thought to call his Mum passed through my head, but five minutes wouldn't hurt. He had hobbit hair and dark rings under his eyes yet there was still something that made me love him more than life itself.

"Almost a week" I choked out, holding back the tears.

He looked shocked and then his facial expression faded away.

"Dan" I said, "I promised myself that when you woke up I would tell you exactly how important you are to me, when I found out there was a chance you weren't going to make it – I didn't know what to do".

A tear streamed down my face and I quickly brushed it away. Dan looked up at me, his big brown eyes making me want to just melt. I had hardly noticed there were now more tears falling down my face, he looked at me sadly.

"Don't cry Phil" he said quietly.

I smiled, "They are happy tears, don't worry" I placed my hand on top of his and squeezed it tight.

**Ok a bit short, I'm not very happy with this chapter but it's after 12 here and I feel ill but I promised myself I wasn't going to bed without finishing this. Hopefully now that I've set a few things up the story can start to progress. I know this has become a lot less realistic, because normally when someone wakes up from a coma they can't speak properly straight away and blah, blah, blah. But I feel like that would have been boring to read and also just depressing, so yeah:/ I hope you enjoyed this :) and feel free to review and follow this story and my twitter: FizzyDanosaur Thank you for reading, bye! x**


	9. Chapter 9

Phil's POV:

I watched through the hospital doors as Dan's family sat around him, his Mum had cried and his Dad had laughed and his brother was back to insulting him already. They were like poster people for the perfect family, it was cute actually. I heard some noise from down the corridor.

"Be careful PJ" Chris shrieked.

"Chris what do you expect? I only have one working arm" PJ hissed back.

PJ and Chris approached me, between the four of us we looked pretty wrecked. PJ with his arm in the sling and Chris in his wheelchair and me, with my bruised face – of course I got off pretty lightly.

"As soon as we got your text we were straight here" Chris grinned.

I hadn't had the pleasures of telling the Danosaurs that Dan was awake yet, the whole morning had just rushed past so quickly. So many people out there wanting Dan to get better.

"His family is in with him right now" I told Chris and PJ.

"How's his memory and things?" PJ asked, "I heard people's memory gets pretty messed up after comas".

I shrugged, I was just happy to have him back.

Dan spotted Chris through the window, giving a weak grin he signalled him and PJ in the room.

-15 minutes later-

"You coming in?" Asked PJ, coming out of Dan's room.

"Yeah I'll come in, in like five minutes" I said.

"You okay Phil?" PJ asked.

"Yeah I'm just exhausted" I said, throwing a smile on.

"No there's something more isn't there? Do you know something about Dan's condition that we don't?" He asked, looking a bit worried.

A part of me wanted to tell PJ everything, I had known PJ longer than the majority of my friends. He was my first YouTube friend, he was practically family. But in the same thought, I knew he wouldn't judge me, he wouldn't care about me being gay. But still, was I ready to admit my feelings for Dan? - I had barely admitted them to myself.

PJ dragged me out to the main hall way and threw me a look. I had to tell someone, why not PJ?

"So?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't want you to judge me" I told him.

"I won't judge you, unless you tell me you have a fetish for something strange or something like that" He joked.

I sat down in one of chairs, I guess it was best to just get this out there.

"I love Dan, PJ" I said, looking at the floor.

"I know, so do I" PJ smiled, unknowingly.

I raised my eyebrows at him and shook my head, "No PJ, I _love_ him".

PJ's eyes widened, he sat in the next to me, clearly speechless. Surprisingly, telling him made me feel a little bit less anxious about the situation. I watched him as he searched for something to say back that would help me in any way possible.

"You don't have to say anything" I told him, "I know I don't have a chance and it's okay".

"How do you know you don't have a chance?" PJ asked.

"Well, Dan likes girls" I said bluntly.

"Well you thought you liked girls" PJ replied.

"You don't have to make me feel better, I've accepted it" I said painting on a smile and then heading for Dan's room, PJ close behind me.

I heard the end of an argument where Dan was telling his family to go back to the apartment and get some sleep, of course his Mum tried to resist but when does Dan ever lose an argument? As I arrived his Mum was putting on her coat and his Dad was asking him if he needed anything. Chris and PJ were also on their way out, Dan cracking a joke about Chris and his wheelchair. PJ flashed me a comforting smile as he walked around the corner. I approached Dan.

"Hey, how you feeling?" I asked.

"Still weak and tired" He groaned "But I had to put a good face on for those guys".

"Do you want me to go and let you get some sleep?" I asked him, hoping he'd say no.

"No!" He said almost instantly "Can you just stay for a wee bit longer?".

I looked into those brown eyes I had missed so much, there was no way I could say no.

"Sure" I smiled.

We talked for ages, about the accident (that Dan had no recollection of) and about YouTube and his Danosaurs and lots of other stuff. I promised him I would bring his laptop in for him first thing tomorrow. Same old Dan, still unable to go a day without the internet. I couldn't find the words to describe what it was like having him back, he's a huge part of me – we're like a double act.

I watched as his eyes became dosey and he began to fighting to keep them open.

"I guess I'll go now and let you get to sleep" I said, not wanting to be a nuisance as usual.

"Phil" He said through bleary eyes, "Please don't leave, I don't wanna be by myself".

All of a sudden the strong, confident, funny Dan I had always known had vanished, he looked weak and vulnerable – I had found this whole new side of him I was almost certain didn't exist.

"I would never leave you alone" I told him.

I returned to the seat I had sat in so many times in the past week, it had become a pretty familiar place to me. Dan's eyes followed me as I took a seat.

"You can sit up here if you want" Dan smiled weakly.

Slowly I squeezed into the space next to him on his hospital bed, before I knew it he had his head resting on my chest and I had my arm around him. He curled up next to me, a couple of minutes later I could hear heavy breathing, meaning he was asleep. I watched him as he slept, it wasn't like watching him these past couple of days – he seemed peaceful now. I wanted to thank God or whoever was responsible for letting me keep him.


	10. Chapter 10

Dan's POV:

To me, it was all really weird. This past week in my eyes, didn't exist. I felt like I had just had one of those nights where I had slept longer than anticipated. And I certainly had no recollection of the car crash, or even anything that had happened during that day. It was kind of a scary feeling, not being able to remember an entire week.

Phil had been by my side the entire time, asleep or awake. I appreciated it a lot, I had never been a big fan of hospitals, even when visiting. When my Mum or Dad were here they treated me like an invalid, like at any second I was likely to snap and have a break down. But with Phil, he treated me exactly the same as he did before the accident. Between the four of us (Chris, Phil, PJ and I) we looked pretty beaten up, Chris was getting better rapidly – which of course I was glad of but what was I going to do when everything got bored of waiting around in hospital for me?

I hated the idea of not being able to do anything for myself, barely being able to feed myself, or wash or anything. Phil tried to act like everything was normal, trying to get me to help him edit our new video, but it just wasn't the same. Every day I was constantly asking when I could leave. I still had a long way to go, luckily I had been given the all clear for my back – although I had weeks of physio ahead to help me build up strength to walk again.

"Dan, I sneaked in a burger for you" Phil said revealing a paper bag from under his coat.

I smiled, "Yes no more hospital food".

I watched Phil as we both tuck into our burgers, this probably wasn't allowed but not eating hospital food for once was great. Phil was such a great guy, sneaking food in for me, always being here. I couldn't help but wonder how he didn't have a girlfriend? _He was practically perfect. _Any girl would be lucky to have him.

_Wait, I shouldn't be thinking about Phil like this, he's my friend – my best friend._

Phil's POV:

Today was the first day I was going Dan's physio with him, stupidly I was nervous for him. I was scared they were going to hurt him and worst of all I was going to have to watch. I was going with him for morale support, his family had gone back to Manchester until Monday – he didn't have anyone else. I knew he'd been before and that he'd never admit how much they hurt him. Dan looked nervous, but he tried to hide – just like Dan. I wheeled him down the hall, as we headed to the physio.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be" Dan said, forcing a smile.

-An hour later-

"So how do you feel?" I asked.

"Phil, I actually feel like this was made a difference. I feel stronger!" He grinned.

"That's great Dan" I smiled back.

He looked happy and strong, like how he used to look before the accident. He had a sparkle in his eyes. I watched him fidget around in the bed I had just helped him in. I felt proud of him in a strange way. Dan sat up and pulled his legs over the side.

"Dan what are you doing?" I asked.

"Just hold on Phil, I'm just gonna try and walk" He said.

"No this sounds like a bad idea" I warned.

"It'll be fine Phil" Dan said waving his hand in the air.

Slowly, he lowered his feet to the ground and tried to pull himself up, it was almost like watching Bambi walk for the first time. I jumped to my feet, ready to catch him. He moved one foot in front of the other, grinning as he did it.

"I told you I could do it" He grinned.

As he said it, his foot slipped. It was almost like slow motion, I saw him begin to fall forward. Luckily I caught him before he hit the ground, I held him up. Our chests pressed against each other and our faces about ten centimetres away from each other. I felt his heart beat fast in his chest, as it does when you nearly fall over.

"I hate being so useless Phil" He said burying his head in my shoulder.

"You're not useless Dan" I told him, giving him a hug.

"I can't do anything for myself" He mumbled.

"It won't be like this forever" I consoled him.

I felt bad for him, I hated it when Dan was sad and there was nothing I could do about it. Sometimes, I wished it was me who had sat in the back seat instead of Dan. I helped him back to the bed and he sat on it, looking defeated. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes, the glimmer they had earlier had disappeared.

"Phil you know, you don't have to stay. I'll be fine on my own, I'm a big boy" He said unconvincingly.

I nodded and sat down beside him, "I know but the apartment isn't the same without you, besides I'd rather be here" I smiled.

"Really Phil?" He said looking at me with his big almond eyes.

"Of course" I smiled.

But instead of Dan dropping eye contact this time, our eyes remained staring into one and another. It was like we were frozen in time and everything in that moment was perfect. I couldn't bring myself to drag my eyes away, no matter how hard I tried. All of a sudden we were getting closer and closer and..

**Ditching homework to write this, pfft this is way better anyway! Ahh, you have all been so nice about this story so thank you so much3 Bit of a slow chapter until the end, I know things have been dragged out a bit but I have this fixation on making things realistic. P.S I know the whole medical side to this is just completely inaccurate, I hope there are no doctors reading ._. OKAY BYE!**


	11. Chapter 11

Phil's POV:

Our faces moved closer, my heart beat fast and my palms sweat. I had imagined this moment so many times in my head. Our mouths were centimetres apart, when Dan jumped back.

"Erm, Phil, can you get me a drink of water?" Dan asked sheepishly.

"Uh, sure" I said getting off the bed.

I left the room and fell back on the door, _what just happened?_ We had a moment, that wasn't in my head, Dan felt it too. In fact I was sick of hiding my feelings, I _loved _him. I stormed back into the room, Dan sat with his back to the door. I marched over to him.

"Dan?" I said.

He turned around as he heard the door shut and me call his name.

"Where's my water? He asked.

"Just be quiet a minute" I said.

I walked over to the bed he sat on, I placed both hands on either side of his face and pulled it closer to mine. Our lips brushed against each other, tingles ran up my spine. It was like that kiss they talk about in movies or books, the one where you see fireworks and you get light headed. I pulled away and stood back up to my normal height.

"Why did you do that?" Dan asked.

"Because I should have done it ages ago" I told him.

I left the room, the adrenaline rushing through me – my cheeks burned red and my palms were sweaty. I didn't want to even let my mind think about what was going through Dan's head right now. Nothing made sense, this didn't seem real. I was light headed, I needed to sit down and think this through.

Dan had always been my best friend, just my best friend. There was always all that 'Phan' stuff, but I knew Dan never took it seriously. The possibility that I had ruined our friendship flooded my mind, what if he wasn't gay? Or even worse than that, what if now he wanted nothing to do with me? I'd have to move out, and how would we ever explain it the phans? They would hate me for ruining everything, but not as much as Dan would hate me.

I buried my face in my hands, _what had I done?_

I heard a voice come from beside me.

"Hey, what are you doing?" The familiar voice asked.

I looked up, it was PJ.

"Erm, nothing really" I told him.

"You look down man, what's up?" He said, something about his green eyes made him feel trustworthy.

I shook my head, I was embarrassed – too embarrassed to say it out loud.

"You know you can trust me" He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Dan and I had a moment and I kind of kissed him" I mumbled.

I heard PJ take a deep breath, I always felt better telling PJ things, he always knew the right thing to say or always had some good advice. He was like an older brother, even though he was younger than me. PJ seemed ten times wiser than the majority of people his age.

"I'm presuming he didn't take it well then?" PJ asked.

"I don't know, I walked out before he could react" I told him.

"Well then you don't know Phil! For all you know, he's in there waiting for you to come back. And even if he isn't, how will you know sitting out here?" He asked.

"I don't want him to hate me PJ, I don't want to lose him" I whined.

"Dan's a good guy, even if he isn't interested he'd never hate you" PJ smiled.

I began to feel slightly less anxious, PJ had a point – PJ always had a point. All I needed to do now was build up the courage to go back in there. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? But as soon as I asked myself that my mind thought up the worst scenarios.

"Thanks Peej" I smiled.

"No problem, now I got to get back to Chris, or he'll kill me for not getting his coke quick enough" PJ laughed and walked around the corner.

As soon as PJ left I tried to talk myself into going back in there, I paced around reception. Walking two steps forward, and then three steps back again. _What was I going to say?_ Of course I couldn't just leave him there by himself, what if he needed a drink or fell or something? I walked down the corridor to his room, slowly I peeked through the window of his door to see what he was doing.

But I was shocked to see he wasn't alone in the room, someone was sitting beside him. I took another glance, dark hair, small, female – Leah. She sat next to Dan on the bed, my heart sunk into my stomach. They were talking, yet by the expression on Dan's face I could tell it seemed serious. I got caught up in looking through the window that Leah spotted me, I guess I had to go in now. Slowly I opened the door, hoping Dan hadn't told Leah about what had just happened.

"Phil, why didn't you tell me Dan was in hospital, I'm his girlfriend" Leah shrieked.

"Sorry, the whole week was really hectic, I just forgot" I explained.

"Just forgot? Don't you think I would have liked to have known my boyfriend had been a bad car crash?" Her voice went straight through my head.

"Leah..." Dan said, implying for her to stop it.

"No Dan, Phil has never liked me – that's why he did this" She continued.

She had a point, I never did like her, she never seemed good enough for Dan – not that I was. Calling her after the accident was something I didn't forget, it just didn't seem important at the time. Her being here would have made things a million times worse.

"You're right, I never did like you. You're shallow and fake and Dan could do a lot better" I told her and then left.

Strangely, even though I knew I was going to regret saying that I felt proud of myself. I had wanted to say that to her for months now, but I'm not the type to start fights. It sure did feel good to get it off my chest. I almost wanted to see her reaction, I felt bad for Dan having to put up with her whining though.

I went home, if Dan didn't hate me before he certainly did now. I walked into our empty apartment feeling like I had the world on my shoulders. Suddenly our apartment that was always filled with laughter seemed so gloomy. I had a shower and crawled into bed, not that I could sleep. _You've really screwed things up this time Phil._

**Cue clip of Dan lying in bed also feeling sad**

**Ok Hi! I actually kind of hate this chapter, I have the attention span of a fly. If I get time tonight I may write another one (lol friday night and im writing fanfiction, this is the life guys;D). I'm really enjoying doing this, I can't believe I talked myself out of it for so long. Your nice comments make it even better:D I LOVE YOU ALL.**


	12. Chapter 12

Phil's POV:

I woke up through blurry eyes, it was strange being back in my own bed. I pulled on a hoodie and went out to the hall, my eyes stuck on Dan's door to his room. Something possessed me and forced me to go into his room. It was neat and organized, bar a couple of drawers that had been left hanging out. I took a seat on his bed, before lying back. It smelt like Dan, I wanted to bury my face in the duvet. I felt panicked about being in his room without him there, but he probably already hated me. The thought of Dan never wanting to see me again, made me sad beyond words. _But there was no way I could possibly take all this back now._

Quickly, I took a shower and stuffed some cereal into me and hurried back to the hospital. I was going to have to face him at some point.

I reached his room and glanced through the window in the door, he was lying in bed on his side – I couldn't work out whether he was awake or not. I knocked on the door and he turned round and signalled me in.

"Hey, I think we need to talk" I said.

Dan nodded. I took a seat on the chair next to his bed, I felt nervous – a feeling I had never had around Dan before – things were always so comfortable and right with him.

"I get that you probably hate me, but I want to explain myself" I said, unable to even look at him.

"Whoa hold on Phil, I don't hate you – I could never hate you" Dan said with a slight smile.

My heart fluttered, I wanted to curl up beside him and for everything to be alright. I wanted him to hold me and like me half as much as I liked him. Everything about Dan was perfect, I hated the thought of him and Leah.

"I get that kissing you the other day was the wrong thing to do, you're with Leah" I told him.

His expression dropped as I mentioned Leah, I knew it was a touchy subject.

"Leah and I aren't together any more, I broke up with her yesterday after you left" Dan said quietly.

"I'm sorry Dan" I told him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Don't be sorry. There was no point staying in a relationship you weren't happy in" He said looking up at me.

_Why can't you be happy with me?_

"Listen Phil, thank you for being here for me these past two weeks – I wouldn't have gotten through it without you" Dan smiled.

"You're awake, you're getting better, that's thanks enough" I told him.

"Phil, that kiss?" Dan asked, looking down.

"I'm not gonna lie Dan, it was something I had been thinking about for a while now. You nearly dying, just made me realize just how much I wanted it" I told him.

"So what now?" Dan asked, continuing to stare into his lap.

"Dan, you're straight and I'm not. You're never going to love me half as much as I love you. I've accepted it, it's okay" I said, slowly dying inside.

"I don't know any more Phil" Dan said, finally looking at me.

"All I know is, I love you Dan more than I should, I probably always will. But more than that, I'm always going to be here for you, you're my best friend. I'm gonna let you think for a while" I said.

I got up and left, despite the fact I was practically rejected, I felt free almost. Everything was out in the open, I wasn't hiding who I was any more. Was I officially gay now? I had no idea, I had never had feelings for any other guy with the exception of Dan. I'd fancied girls my entire life, had girlfriends, been with girls. The thought of being gay was one I wasn't ready to get my head around any time soon.

Dan's POV:

You know that moment when suddenly you realize, everything is different, everything has changed. Everything you thought you knew, wasn't the same any more. How do you get your head around that? Phil loved me. _Did I love Phil? _I had so many feelings rushing through my head. Phil was a great guy, I mean he was perfect, but I had always liked girls – _hadn't I?_

**Dan's POVs are always so much shorter, Phil POV is just easier to write through. Okay so I finally feel like we are making progress! This chapter was kind of short so I'll either upload another tonight or two tomorrow, woohoo for weekends! Hope you guys liked it! x**


	13. Chapter 13

Phil's POV:

I paced around the hospital more times than I could count, I thought about visiting Chris to take my mind of things. But I knew if PJ was there he would be able to pick up instantly if there was something wrong. Time was moving so slowly, it always did when you were nervous. My stomach was churning, this could either make or break our relationship.

"Are you okay?" A nurse asked as she walked past.

"Yeah I'm fine thank you" I replied quietly.

Despite the fact that in my head I was screaming 'NO, EVERYTHING IS DEFINITELY NOT OKAY'.

I had walked past Dan's room at least four times now, I definitely looked like I was lost. When ironically I knew this place like the back of my hand after spending so long in here these past two weeks. I needed to get out of here, go for a walk – do something other than wait around. I decided to go to starbucks, hoping it would take my mind off things. Yet as I got there everything reminded me of Dan, Dan and I rushing to starbucks because our internet was down and SAP needed to be uploaded. Or Dan making himself at home in the huge chairs, putting his feet up. Sitting in starbucks without Dan just didn't seem right.

Quickly, I finished my drink and ordered Dan's favourite drink to go, I knew he had been missing his fix of starbucks. I looked at my phone, that 'quick drink' in starbucks had taken an hour, yet I barely remembered any of it.

I walked back to the hospital, scuffing my feet on the ground as I walked.

"Phil? Is that you?" A voice from behind me spoke.

I turned around, a girl of average height with light brown hair and big blue eyes looked back at me. I remembered her face, but from where? _Oh yeah..._

"Molly" I smiled.

She ran over and gave me a hug.

"It's been too long Phil" She grinned.

"Yeah it has, what's brought you to London?" I asked.

"I just moved last week, I got a new job here" She smiled.

"Wow that's great" I smiled back at her.

"How have you been? And how about Dan?" She asked.

"Oh, we haven't been so good. We were recently in a bad car accident, I'm fine bar the hard core bruised face but Dan was out for about a week" I told her.

"That's awful, give him my best" She smiled.

"Well I'm just on my way back to see him, so I gotta' head" I said excusing myself.

"Wait Phil, now that I'm living here we should hang out sometime" She said.

"Yeah sure that sounds good, call me sometime – my number is the same as it always was" I told her.

She nodded, we said our goodbyes and I headed back to the hospital. Molly was my ex girlfriend, we actually ended on pretty good terms – I just wasn't ready to move as fast as she was. So when she asked me to move in and I declined, we ended up breaking up. Looking back, it wasn't the idea was living with Molly or becoming more committed to her – it was leaving Dan that stopped. Life without Dan, wasn't a life I wanted to live.

I headed back to the hospital, I decided to check my Twitter as I walked back. Since the whole accident, I had really neglected Twitter, not to mention Tumblr.

' Danisnotonfire Peeps, I uploaded a new video, check it out guys. It explains some stuff, I missed you all a lot'.

_When did he have the time to make that?_

I clicked on the video, it was Dan sitting on the hospital bed talking. The video was clearly taken on his laptop web-cam and it looked like hadn't edited it all. Instead, he just talked and uploaded it.

He began to explain the accident and his condition for the first two minutes.

'Phil has been here with me through all of it, there isn't enough words I could say to thank him. A lot of crazy stuff has been going on lately, you know when it takes something in context quite insignificant to make you realize something that's been there the whole time? A lot of you are probably extremely confused right now, but that's okay because I'm sure even a few of you get it. I'm going to try my best to keep up with my YouTube, but please bear with me. Thank you Danosaurs and thank you for all your support' He said.

_What possessed him to make a video like that?_

I reached his room, I knocked and then entered. Dan was sitting with his laptop on his lap, a usual pose for Dan. He looked up as he saw me walk in.

"Hey Phil" He said, shutting his laptop.

"I didn't know how long to leave you for, so..." I replied.

There was a certain tension in the room, one that had never happened with us before. An awkward silence, normally we were talking over the top of each other. Dan looked as awkward as I felt, fiddling with his hair (the thing he does when he's anxious).

"I get it if you don't like me back, I can live with that but can we still be friends?" I asked.

Dan looked down, at first I thought he was looking for something else to say; but then I realized he wasn't going to say anything.

"I guess I'll just go then" I said, feeling my eyes start to sting.

"No wait" He said as I had my hand on the handle. "I don't know, Phil I've thought this over all day. I can't lose you as a friend, but I don't think we can go back to being friends".

I looked at my feet, a tear falling down my cheek.

"But I think that's because I want to be more than your friend. I think I like you" He said.

My head shot up and I looked at him, "Really? So what does this mean?" I asked.

"I don't know, but all I know is I want to give this a try. But slowly, I don't want to just throw us into a fully committed relationship" Dan smiled.

I sat in the seat beside his bed once more, I looked into his eyes and he looked back. He held out his hand, to which I grabbed, he gave it a tight squeeze and then grinned at me.

**Yay! Finally, haha. This was an easy chapter to write actually, probably the easiest one since the car crash chapter :D Thank you for your support! Do you think I should continue writing it now they have gotten together or let the story bow out gracefully? Hahaha, let me know. I don't wanna bore you. Either way thanks for reading, I love you all x**


	14. Chapter 14

Phil's POV:

I woke up this morning feeling better than I had in a while, it was time to bring Dan home. Dan had now been in hospital for a month now, it was a long month but things are finally looking up. He still wasn't completely better, but he was nearly there. Last night he sent me home to sleep in a 'proper bed' as he said, so I could rest up for today. I was probably more excited than him for him to come home.

I jumped out of bed and headed to the downstairs, spending the majority of my time at the hospital meant less time for cleaning. PJ and Chris were helping us get Dan back, over the past couple of weeks Dan had managed to move half of his bedroom into his hospital room. PJ and Chris were getting better too, Chris was out of hospital too and out of his wheelchair. And as for my face, it was like it had never happened.

But I couldn't help but wonder about Dan and I's relationship now he'd be back home. Of course we had never actually defined it as a relationship. In fact, since our talk we hadn't really done much more than the occasional cuddle. Dan wanted to move slow. We hadn't even told our families yet, the only other people who knew were Chris and PJ.

"Ready to go home?" I said poking my head round Dan's hospital door.

"More than ready" He said with a grin on his face.

Chris stood holding a box of Dan's stuff and I picked up the second box. The four of us made our way downstairs and officially discharged Dan. We called a taxi because PJ was the only that had a car, but that was destroyed in the accident.

"The outside world" Dan said melodramatically whilst taking a deep breath in.

I laughed, it was going to be good to have him home.

We walked into our house and everything immediately felt normal again, Dan had never been away – there had never been a car crash. Dan headed straight for the sofa and it was like balance had been restored.

"In case I haven't said it enough, thank you guys for being there" Dan smiled.

After about an hour, PJ and Chris excused themselves, leaving just Dan and I.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I asked Dan who was currently lounging on the sofa.

"Only if you'll make me popcorn" He grinned.

"Is this what things are going to be like now, you bossing me around?" I laughed.

By the time I had come back, Dan had the movie set up. I motioned for him to sit up and make some room for me. Dan sat up and as soon as I sat down, lay back down again, using my lap as a cushion. He made a heart with his hands to me. There was no way I could ever refuse him anything. We both sat there for hours, laughing a way to the TV. Dan announced on his Twitter that he was officially home and things were perfect.

But of course, I had to ruin it by asking a stupid question.

"Dan what is this?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He, in turn replied.

"Well us, we never really talked about it" I said, "I just wanna know where I stand".

"I guessed we were going to have to have this conversation eventually" He said sitting up.

"I know you wanna take things slow, but I just need to know..." I continued babbling on.

One thing about me, when I'm nervous or in an awkward situation I talk non-stop, about completely irrelevant things too. I watched Dan as I babbled, like an out of body experience. He looked my face up and down and then focused on my lips. He began to move closer and closer, until I was back in my own body and we were kissing. Dan rest his hand on the back of my neck, our kiss became deeper until Dan pulled away.

"I guess you could say we are in a relationship" He said, shooting me a cheeky grin.

Things went silent, not an awkward silent but a perfect one. No more words needed to be spoken, Dan had managed to say all the right things. I grabbed his hand and held on to it, he gave it a squeeze and then went back to watching TV. _This is what perfection feels like._

At around 12am, Dan and myself could barely keep our eyes shut.

"Let's just go to bed" I suggested.

I offered to help Dan up the stairs, but as he pig-headed as he was – he wanted to do it himself. I walked closely behind him, ready to catch him in case he lost grip and fell or something. It took longer than normal, but he did make it up the stairs. I watched him head for his room and just like routine, I headed for mine.

"Phil?" Dan said turning around.

"Yes Dan?" I asked, also turning away from my door.

"Maybe you don't have to sleep in your room tonight" He said.

I grinned and gave him a slight nod before following him into his room. I slid into his bed as he closed the curtains in his bedrooms, afterwards joining me. The lights were switched off and Dan cuddled up beside me. I moved closer, feeling his body heat radiate against mine, warming up the entire bed. Dan wrapped his arms around me and things were perfect. I heard Dan lightly snoring from beside me and that was the last thing I could remember before falling into a deep sleep.

**Meh kind of a slow chapter, apologies. I'm writing this really late at night so I'm just a little sleep deprived ^-^ Some of you said I should continue writing this story as long as it interests me, so that's what I'm gonna do! Although I will have to find a new plot twist now that things are perfect in the story ;D **


	15. Chapter 15

Phil's POV:

I was woken up by the sun shining through a small crack in the curtains, I was lying comfortably cuddled up to Dan. I stretched, making a grumbling noise which soon had Dan awake. He looked at me through bleary eyes.

"What time is it Phil?" He asked.

I grabbed my phone off the table beside the bed and lay my head on Dan's chest. I clicked the button on the top of my iPhone, allowing the date and the time to come up. 11:54am it read, I yawned and snuggled into Dan – I wasn't ready to get up yet. 'One new message' my phone read.

I guided my finger over the scroller and opened the message, it was from Molly. I flinched and exited to my home screen, hoping Dan hadn't seen the message. Throughout the past couple of weeks, Molly and I had been texting nearly everyday. We hadn't met for coffee yet, because I told her I was busy with Dan being in hospital and everything – which she said she understood. As guilty as I seem, there really wasn't anything going on, we had a few laughs together and I used to feel something for her. But those feelings were gone, Dan was the one I wanted.

"Who's Molly?" He asked casually.

I tensed, I didn't want to lie to him, yet I didn't want to stress him out over it – it was the last thing he needed now.

"She's just an old friend" I said.

Dan was silent, but I could tell he was thinking.

"Wait, Molly? Isn't that your ex girlfriend?" Dan asked.

Damn, I thought – he remembered her.

"Yeah it is" I said honestly.

"Oh, when did you start talking to her again?" Dan asked. Despite his mellow tone I could tell he didn't like it.

"Well I ran into her in town a few weeks ago and she's living in London now. Don't make a big deal over it Dan, it's nothing" I said.

"I'm not making a big deal I was just wondering" He replied.

I sat up and kissed him on the cheek, "C'mon, let's go get brunch".

Dan's POV:

I watched Phil flip a pancake and grin at how well it worked, despite how much fun I was having I still couldn't put the whole Molly thing out of my head. I trusted Phil, of course I did. But did I trust Molly? Nope not at all. Did she even know he was gay? We hadn't told many people yet, and by that I mean only Chris and PJ knew. I was worried that everyone else wouldn't take it as well as Chris and PJ. For some reason I was most worried about telling my family, I was about 80% certain they would be fine with it, but that 20% still haunted me. For twenty one years now I had been straight, completely straight. Being gay and in a relationship was completely new to me. _But we couldn't turn back now, not that I wanted to anyways._

Despite the fact that the relationship was so new, I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous over the whole Molly thing. I wasn't normally so jealous about relationship things, but I guess this relationship was completely different to all my previous ones.

I was rushed out of thought when I noticed Phil grinning at me, motioning for me to flip a pancake. I flipped it perfectly, over exaggerating my win as I did it. Phil laughed, raising his hand towards his mouth – which he always did when he laughed. I put the pancake on the plate next to frying pan and gave Phil a kiss on the lips. I was happier than I had been for a long time now, _so why was I so scared to tell people? _

"Can we eat now?" Phil asked, "I'm so hungry".

I smiled and nodded at his childlike behaviour and followed him into the living room with my plate of pancakes. He switched on the TV and we both sat down in our usual positions, me with my feet on the coffee table and Phil with his firmly on the ground. I noticed his phone go again, but he grabbed it before I could see who the messages were from, _three guesses for who it was._

I tried not to make a big deal, he was with me now. Instead, I tried to change the topic.

"Phil, are you nervous about telling your family about us?" I asked.

"Not really, I don't think they'd mind, at least that's what they told me when I was younger" He said shoving a bit of pancake into his mouth.

_I wished I could be as sure as he was._

"Why? Are you worried about it?" He asked.

"Just a little, I don't know what their reactions will be like" I mumbled.

"Don't worry Dan, they love you. I'm sure they won't care" He smiled, putting a reassuring hand on my leg.

I nodded, still feeling more than a little uneasy.

"We don't have to tell them until you want anyways Dan" Phil added, he must have noticed my worried expression.

**Ooh, Dan with his second thoughts and Phil and Molly. I hope this is a worthy plot twist. I always seem to write these reasonably late at night so I am usually sleep deprived. Okay so a couple more of you said I should continue this story and I am happy to I just didn't wanna bore all of you. Thank you for the nice reviews and the story has like 22 followers now, which may seem kind of pathetic in comparison to other stories but I'm proud ok! . Hahaha thanks for your support, hope you enjoyed, BYE! x**


	16. Chapter 16

Phil's POV:

I looked around the flat, Dan left five minutes ago. His family had driven up from Manchester to spend the day with him, which left me here alone. I hadn't anything exciting planned, so I sat down on the sofa – ready to play some sonic.

**Buzz**

I checked my phone, secretly hoping it was Dan. It was from Molly, inviting me out for coffee today. I read over the text multiple times before I could register. On one hand, I wanted to go out and see her, catch up, have a laugh about old memories – those kinds of things. On the other hand, I knew Dan wouldn't like it. I was in two minds, _Dan didn't have to know, did he? _

Dan's POV:

I made my way across the main room of a large restaurant and sat down in my seat, my family welcomed me, telling me how I looked remarkably better. It kind of felt like old times again, I was out for a simple lunch with my family. My brother and I joked around with my Dad and my Mum did her usual I'm-only-telling-you-because-I-care speech. Telling me how I could easily land back in hospital if I wasn't careful.

We tucked into our food and all my troubles seemed to fade away. I fell into day dream, staring across the room at the wall. I noticed my Dad look behind himself, trying to work out what I was looking at. A grin appeared across his face.

"Dan, the idea is to play hard to get" My Dad laughed.

I snapped out of my train of thoughts.

"What?" I asked.

"That girl, need I say more?" My Dad chuckled.

My stomach tightened and my cheeks felt hot, I stammered – not knowing what to say. I had barely even noticed the waitress taking orders from the table's directly opposite us.

"Don't embarrass him dear" My Mum said joining in with the chuckling.

I felt my cheeks flush an even darker shade of red, _how was I going to get out of this one? _Everyone who knew me well, knew that I was an awful liar. _Calm down Dan, they don't know you're gay, just play along. _My heart beat fast, I hated lying – to anyone.

"Just go over and talk to her, she keeps looking over here" My Dad said with a grin.

"No it's fine, she's not even that great anyway" I smiled.

"You can't lie to your old man, go and give her your number" He said with a wink.

_How was I going to get out of this one?_

As I was being ushered up from the table and across the room to the waitress who was now walking back to the main desk, I seen her smile at me. I made my way over to the desk.

"Hey do you have any spare napkins?" I stuttered. _Great ice breaker there Dan._

"Sure" She smiled and handed me some napkins.

I looked back over at the table my family were at, my Mum was looking almost as uncomfortable as I felt, my brother was laughing – probably at my expense – and my Dad was motioning me to keep going.

I took a deep breath and one last look at my family.

"The napkins weren't the only reason I came over, Hi I'm Dan" I smiled.

"Hey I'm Jennifer" She smiled.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my Dad coming over, despite my Mum trying to force him to sit back down. I had to something and I had to do it quickly.

"So we should erm, go out sometime" I stuttered.

"Yeah sure, here's my number" She said, writing it on a napkin, "Call me sometime".

My Dad was approaching, and quickly. He had a goofy smile plastered on his face, which made me worry about what he was going to do next.

"Sorry hope I'm not interrupting anything, just need some napkins" He said, and as he turned away from her gave me a wink.

My cheeks burnt even brighter, if it was even possible. I wanted to get out of this restaurant as quickly as possible. I felt even worse because the girl seemed nice.

"Erm, thanks, here my number too" I said, writing mine down on another napkin.

I scurried off as quickly as possible, doing the walk of shame back to my table. _This was possibly one of the most embarrassing times of my life._

Phil's POV:

I spotted Molly outside starbucks, she walked over and gave me a hug. After a bit of small talk we went in. We talked about all sorts of things, old memories, our old school and everything. At one stage I found myself laughing so much at an embarrassing moment she reminded me of back at school.

"So how's Dan?" She asked, beginning on her cookie.

My heart jumped at the sound of his name, which happened quite frequently.

"Oh he's so much better, he's back home and he's finished with the physio and everything" I grinned, feeling secretly proud of him.

"That's good to hear" She smiled.

"You know Phil, I hope it doesn't make things awkward me saying this but, breaking up with you was one of the worst decisions I have ever made" She said.

"It's not awkward, I mean we were really good together. But it's okay, it's in the past" I said, hoping to make her feel better.

She nodded.

Dan's POV:

We left the restaurant, my Dad was complaining about how they didn't serve 'decent coffee' and the memory of the asking out incidence still burned brightly in my head. We headed for starbucks, in search of 'decent coffee'. The restaurant was only two blocks away so it didn't take us long getting there. I lead the way, as I was the one who lived in London.

I headed up to the cafe, judging by what I could see through the window it looked pretty busy. I noticed a red and black chequered shirt, it looked a lot like Phil's. I looked closer, the black hair, pale skin – it was Phil. _Was he there alone? _My eyes glided over to the seat facing him, he wasn't alone – he was with Molly – quite happily too judging by how much they were laughing. My heart sunk to my stomach.

"It's quite busy in there, there's another one a few blocks away, let's go there" I suggested.

_What was Phil doing with Molly? He said he didn't like her. _I tried my hardest not to worry, Phil loved me, right? I mean I trusted Phil, he would never cheat on me, right?

**Wow, this was kind of an excruciating chapter to write, I cannot focus tonight. Sorry for not posting a chapter yesterday, I've been sick and I've been having some family problems. I shall be more frequent now though :) Thank you for being so supportive! Please follow me on twitter FizzyDanosaur. x **


	17. Chapter 17

Dan's POV:

I sat at home playing Skyrim, Phil was still out with Molly. He was probably having a far too amazing time to come home. After the coffee, I had excused myself home – I couldn't take a second longer of excruciating family time. So now I was sat at home, wallowing in my own pity about the fact that my boyfriend was out having a swell time with his ex.

I heard the door unlock and Phil hang his coat up, he walked into the living room and seemed startled to see me sitting on the sofa in front of him.

"Dan" He said, "What are you doing home so early?"

"I'm tired, I just wanted to come home" I said, sounding a lot like a sulky teenager.

"Did you remember to take your medication?" Phil asked, sitting next to me.

"Yes Phil, I'm not a child" I replied, keeping my full focus on the TV screen.

"Okay Mr grouchy" Phil said.

I felt bad being mean to Phil, I had always found it hard to be mean to Phil. It was why we barely ever argued, he was too innocent and whenever I felt like I even slightly offended him I caved and told him I was sorry. It was kind of like kicking a fluffy bunny.

"Where were you?" I asked.

"I went out to get a coffee" He said.

"By yourself?" I asked.

"Yeah" He stuttered.

Phil was a terrible liar, always had been. But nevertheless he was still lying, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I was always sure that out of everyone, Phil was the one who would definitely never lie to me. _Yet here he was, lying straight to my face. _I jumped straight to the worst conclusion, he was cheating on me or having second thoughts about our relationship. I felt sick.

We sat in an awkward silence, I continued playing on the xbox and he took out his phone – no doubt texting Molly.

Phil's POV:

-Half an hour before-

"Molly, I'm gonna have to go now" I told her as we sat in starbucks.

"Aw do you have to? This has been so much fun" She smiled.

"Yeah sorry" I apologised.

"We should do this another time" She said.

I nodded, agreeing. It had been a good time, despite how constantly guilty I felt.

"I really like spending time with you again" She said, throwing her arms around me.

I walked home, expecting an empty house. Dan was in the living room playing Skyrim with his feet up. I couldn't help but feel immediately guilty, I hadn't done anything wrong – but I knew Dan wouldn't see it that way, whether he said it or not.

Making conversation with him was like trying to suck blood out of a rock – completely hopeless. He seemed grouchy and tired – it was best to leave him alone when he was like this. Before I knew it, I was lying about Molly. It was never my intention, surely honesty is the best trait to have in a relationship. The lies flew out of my mouth, it just seemed easier telling Dan I went alone to starbucks.

I made dinner and handed him his plate, hoping that food would put him in a better mood.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He nodded, and complained he was tired._ What was wrong with him? _Normally I could get out of Dan what was wrong with him in seconds. My mind jumped to worst case scenario, I had a horrible feeling he regretted our relationship – or moving it on anyways. He could barely look at me, I had an awful feeling in my stomach.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, I took it out – it was a message from Molly.

'Phil, spending time with you today made me regret ever breaking up with you. I have never gotten over you, is there a chance we can try again? X'

My heart sunk, I always got myself worked up in situations like this. My heart raced, I looked at Dan next to me on the sofa.

Dan's POV:

I stared sullenly at the TV screen, it took all I had not be cuddle up next to Phil. He lied, he didn't like me half as much as he said, _what was the point in getting hurt? _

Phil got up and excused himself to the bathroom, I noticed the phone on the side of the sofa where he was previously sitting. I wasn't usually a snoop, in fact normally relationships didn't make me at all jealous. I grabbed his phone, keeping a close ear for Phil coming back down the hall. I opened his phone and headed straight for his messages and right at the top was Molly's name – what a surprise. I read the most recent message, I felt like I had been hit straight in the gut. She wanted to get back together with him, he hadn't replied. I threw his phone back down and sunk into the sofa.

**Ahh awful chapter, sorry! Next one will be better :) Thank you for the support, means so much. I'm considering doing a new story (as well as this one) but idk I have exams and stuff..haha but yeah. Thanks for reading x**


	18. Chapter 18

Phil's POV:

I woke up in my bed alone for the first time in a couple of nights, I could hear Dan rattling about downstairs. Through blurry eyes I wandered down, checking my phone as I made my way down. I looked at Molly's message, I still hadn't replied. _What exactly could I say? _No-one knew I was gay and in all honesty, I was kind of enjoying the secrecy.

Dan was sitting at the breakfast bar, munching on some cereal and editing a video. He still looked half asleep and had bed hair, weirdly enough it just made me love him more.

"Good morning" I smiled, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

"Hello" He replied, but continued editing with a concentrated look on his face.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He suddenly brightened up, "Yeah I'm fine" he smiled.

_Dan really had such a beautiful smile. _

I took a seat next to him and opened up my laptop, I decided to answer a few vYou questions. Luckily Dan seemed in a better mood today. He closed over his laptop and excused himself as he went for a shower. I continued answering vYou answers. Music began playing beside me, I hadn't been up long so it took me at least ten seconds to react to the fact that Dan's phone was ringing.

I looked at the screen, it was a number he didn't have saved in his phone.

"Hello, this is Dan's phone" I said picking it up.

"Oh hello" A girl's voice said back.

"Sorry who is this?" I asked.

"I'm Jennifer, is Dan there?" She asked.

"Yeah hold on a minute he's just in the shower" I said.

I walked out to the bottom of the stairs and shouted up to Dan, who now sounded like he was out of the shower. At the same time all that was running through my head was, _who is Jennifer? _Dan had never spoke about her before, and her number wasn't saved on his phone – clearly she can't be _that _important to him. A whole series of explanations as to how she ended up ringing Dan ran through my head.

Dan ran down the stairs in just his boxers and a top, his hair still wet and beginning to curl into his 'hobbit hair' from the shower.

"Thanks" He smiled, taking the phone off me and running back up the stairs.

I could hear the beginning of the conversation until Dan shut his door. I walked back into the kitchen, I couldn't decide if I should be worried or not. _Dan wouldn't cheat on me. _It was moments like this I wished I could be more like Dan, laid back about this sort of thing.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard my phone receive a text message, I walked over to the breakfast bar still contemplating about 'Jennifer'. But one look at my phone launched me into whole new series of thoughts, it was from Molly.

'Look I get that you aren't sure, can we at least talk about it?' the message read.

I didn't want to talk about it, I couldn't talk about it. What was I supposed to say? _Oh hey Molly, I know you have known me since I was twelve but I'm gay now – in fact I guess I've always been gay, anyways I'm in love with Dan so we can't go out. _

Dan's POV:

I spent all night thinking over Molly and Phil, after about two hours of tossing and turning I decided that I had to let it go. Phil loved me, Phil sat by my bedside in hospital for almost a month. And more than that, he was my best friend – I had to trust him. It was stupid being angry at him.

After a long night of barely sleeping I could barely keep my eyes open to edit my new video. I prayed a quick shower would liven me up.

"Dan your phones ringing, I picked it up" Phil shouted from downstairs.

I looked down at my fully naked self, I threw on the first pair of boxers and I could find and a shirt that lay on my floor and ran downstairs.

I thanked Phil and grabbed the phone of him.

"Hello?" I said, slightly out of breath.

"Hey" A feminine voice said from the other side.

"Who is this?" I asked.

"Oh sorry it's Jennifer" She answered.

My mind journeyed back to the embarrassing restaurant situation from yesterday, I cringed thinking about it. I almost felt as if I should apologise for my Dad.

"Oh from the restaurant" I said.

"Yeah" She laughed, "So I thought I might take you up on the offer to go out sometime".

My heart sank, I barely even remembered asking her out. A cloud of guilt suddenly came over me – I was so worried about Phil dating Molly and I'm doing the same thing with Jennifer. _How could I possibly get out of this now?_

"Oh so do you wanna get a coffee or something?" I asked.

"Sounds good, are you free today?" She asked.

I dried and straightened my hair, there was no way I was venturing out of this house with hobbit hair. I was nervous about going and seeing her, I knew I had to tell her I was gay; I just didn't know how she'd take it.

I walked into the kitchen to get a drink before leaving, Phil was still sitting at the breakfast counter.

"Are you going out?" Phil asked.

"Yeah, with Jennifer" I told him.

"Who exactly is Jennifer?" Phil asked.

"It's a really long story, I met her at the restaurant yesterday" I answered, in between taking drinks from my glass of milk.

"Oh" Phil said.

I noticed he looked confused, I had no time to explain.

"Listen, I have to go. I'll be home in a few hours" I said, kissing him on the lips.

"I'll bring home some dinner for us if you want" I offered.

"That sounds good, have fun" He smiled.


	19. Chapter 19

Dan's POV:

I arrived at starbucks, I walked in and took a seat at the table I usually sat in. As far as I could see, Jennifer hadn't arrived yet. I was sort of glad, it gave me time to plan what I was going to say.

A girl walked into the cafe, she was just a little bit shorter than average height, she was tanned with long blonde hair that fell at her ribs. She looked a lot different than she did in the restaurant, where she had her uniform on and her hair pulled back – a good different though.

"Hey" She smiled, sitting down in front of me.

She didn't wear much make up, which made her green eyes stand out even more.

-Half an hour later-

We had talked almost non-stop from the moment we sat down with our coffees. She told me about where she lived and how she only worked part time and was also studying at university. I was glad there was plenty to talk about, I waited for an opening to tell her the truth. She brought up yesterday in the restaurant.

"Listen I have to come clean about something" I said.

"Sure, what?" She asked, looking slightly worried.

"The thing is, yesterday the only reason I asked you out for coffee was because I-" I stuttered – which almost made things worse.

"I recently came out, and I didn't want to face telling my Dad, not in the middle of a restaurant anyways".

She looked at me for a second and then tilted her head, clearly thinking things over in her head.

"You've got to be kidding" She said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, praying she wouldn't kick off.

"No it's just normally I'm so good at reading guys, like whether they are gay or not. But I never thought it for a second with you" She said, taking a drink of her coffee.

"Oh" I said, "Well anyway, I hope your not annoyed you seem like a really nice girl, I hope we can be friends".

"Of course" She smiled "I'm not really ready for a relationship now anyway".

Phil's POV:

I sat at home feeling sorry for myself, Dan was out with some girl and I didn't see much point in answering vYou questions with a mood like this. I walked into the living room and flung myself on to the sofa.

My phone went for the fourth time in the space of five minutes, Molly again.

'Can we please just talk about it?' The message read, I wasn't really up for social interaction today – all I really wanted was Dan. My phone began ringing, Molly's name popped up. I was going to have to face it eventually.

"Hello?" I said.

"Phil will you please talk to me?" She said.

"I don't know what to say Molly" I sighed.

"Say yes" She answered.

"I can't" I said.

"Look please just meet me in the park, I'm there now walking my dog" She said and hung up.

The park was just around the corner from my house, I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and some shoes and began walking. _She was about to find out I was gay. _I saw her sitting on a bench, holding a dog lead with a dog attached. I walked over, hands in my pockets – it was pretty cold.

"You came" She smiled.

"What made you think I wouldn't?" I asked, sitting beside her.

"Phil will you please just think about it?" She asked.

"Molly, look I should have told you sooner. I'm with someone" I said, staring at my shoes.

"Oh, how long have you been with her?" She asked, also looking to the ground.

"That's the thing, it's not a she" I said.

"Your..gay?" She asked, her head abruptly shooting up to look at me.

I nodded.

"When did this happen?" She asked.

"I don't know, I've never had feelings for any other guy but this one. He's just special I guess" I smiled.

I tried to stop myself from smiling, I wanted to tell her it was Dan – I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted to stand up on this bench and scream it to the world, but I knew Dan wasn't ready for people to know and I respected that. I thought about him being out with Jennifer and I all I wanted was for him to come home and give me a massive hug.

"I've never felt this way before Molly" I said, holding back an almighty grin.

"I'm glad" She said.

"Listen I have to get home, but I hope we can still be friends" I told her.

She nodded.

I walked back home, things were seeming a lot clearer than they were an hour ago. I waited in the living room, playing Sonic until Dan came home. I heard the door unlock and paused my game, I could hear the sound of bags rustling and something dropping in the hall. I went out to look, Dan was holding a couple of plastic bags and his keys were on the floor.

"Ooops" He laughed.

"Reasons why Dan's a fail, yay" I sang.

He laughed.

"I missed you" I said, throwing my arms around him.

"Really? I wasn't gone for that long" He laughed, hugging me back.

"I got Chinese and lots of other food, we're having a movie night" He grinned.

We sat down in our living room, with plates and bowls of food. Dan was setting up what movie we were about to watch, I had brought down my duvet and already had it around me. Dan jumped underneath, and stretched his self along the sofa, resting his head on my chest. I placed my arm around him and stroked his hair, _was there ever a more perfect moment than this?_

**Eeek, oh the feels im getting from the reviews, you lovely people! I was like grinning like a maniac, seriously! Sorry for neglecting it for like three days there, it's half term so I'll try to upload plenty. Recently I've had a ton of writers block, but today I think I broke through it! Dan and Phil's relationship SEEMS perfect doesn't it..muahahaha. Lol im sleep deprived ignore me. n_n**


	20. Chapter 20

Dan's POV:

I woke up, it quickly came to my attention I wasn't in my bed. I looked around, I was in the living room. Phil was beside me, his head crooked to the side where he had fallen asleep. A quiet snore came from Phil, I rest my head back down on his chest. A couple of minutes later I felt his arm move from around me. I looked up, he was rubbing his eyes.

"How did we manage to fall asleep down here?" I laughed.

"Well you fell asleep on top of me, and you looked too cute too wake up" Phil smiled.

"I don't want to get up" I complained.

"We have to, my cousin is coming over in like an hour" Phil said.

I sat myself up and looked at my phone, 11:37pm it read.

Phil's POV:

I sat in my room, looking for a pair of jeans – things were never where they are supposed to be in my room. I jumped on the spot, trying to pull up my jeans I had just found at the bottom of my wardrobe. I could hear crashing around downstairs, I was almost worried to go down and see what Dan was doing. Next thing I heard him running up the stairs, he burst into my room.

"Phil what did you do with the TV remote?" He asked, out of breath.

"I don't know, you had it last" I said.

"No I didn't because then I would know where it was" He drawled.

We bickered for a couple of minutes, until we heard a knock at the door.

"Dan there's not even time to watch TV now, c'mon" I said, going to answer the door.

Since we moved to London, I hadn't really seen much of my family. I really only saw them on special occasions now, like Christmas or a birthday. But I hadn't seen my cousin in almost a year even though she only lived twenty minutes away – we had both had a busy year. She got married and had a baby and between moving and the car accident, we really hadn't had much time to see each other.

Michelle was two years older than me – and like the majority of my family – she had pale white skin.

"Hey little cousin" She smiled and gave me a hug.

Ever since we were younger she always called me little cousin, basically because she knew I hated it. And even though now, I was taller than her – she continued to tease me.

She stood with her pram behind her, her son Jack was almost a year old now – I hadn't seen him since he was first born. I helped her wheel her pram into our house.

"Dan, Michelle is here" I shouted up the stairs.

Dan came down the stairs.

"Michelle this is Dan, my..." I stopped.

I looked at the expression on Dan's face, I was one word away from introducing him as my boyfriend. I noticed his nervous expression and watched him shake his head from behind her.

"..my roomate" I smiled.

I knew I told him I didn't mind waiting until he was ready but it had been almost two months now, how long was this going to take? _Was he embarrassed? _

-Half an hour later-

The three of us had sat talking, she told Dan embarrassing stories about me from when we were younger and they certainly had a good laugh about it. I didn't mind, I was glad Michelle liked Dan just as much as I did. _I just wished everyone could know just how much I really did like him._

Michelle's phone began ringing and she excused herself out to the hall to go answer it.

"I like her, she's funny" Dan laughed.

Michelle came back into the room, "Listen guys I have to ask you a really big favour" she said.

"Sure what?" I asked.

"Can you mind Jack for an hour tops? I really need to run into work, I wouldn't ask unless there was anyone else" She said.

"Yeah sure of course" I smiled.

She went over a list of things, where the nappies/diapers are, his favourite toys and when we should feed him his bottle – then it hit me, I had never taken care of a baby before. And even worse, I was fairly certain Dan hadn't either.

"Phil, we can't take care of a baby!" Dan shrieked as soon as Michelle had left.

"I know, but it's just for an hour. It'll be fine" I told him, not only trying to calm him down but also trying to calm myself down.

"You say that now, but what happens when it starts maniacally crying?" Dan hissed.

"It's a he Dan. And we'll just bounce it around and play with it and stuff" I said.

"Okay, fine. But I am not changing any nappies" Dan said, sitting on the sofa and crossing his arms.

**Hahah I didn't know whether to call them nappies or diapers, British people and I think people from Europe in general call them nappies but Americans call them diapers so yeah. This chapters was kind of just to fill what's gonna happen next, so it was kind of boring. **


	21. Chapter 21

Phil's POV:

An unfamiliar sound filled our house, it was Jack – crying endlessly. I sat in front of the pram, making funny faces and shoving any toy I could find at him. Dan sat quietly in the corner, looking at something on his phone.

"Dan he won't stop crying" I said.

"I know, I am in the room" Dan said sarcastically.

"What else can I do?" I asked.

"I don't know, try burping him or something" Dan said,

I lifted the child out of the pram and into my arms and began rocking back and forwards. This always seemed to work on TV, it was worth a try. But after a couple of minutes of burping, he was still crying. I put him back in the pram.

"Maybe he's hungry, mind him while I make a bottle or something" I said and walked off into the kitchen.

I could hear Dan protesting but I was already in the kitchen, my sore head rapidly began to fade. The kitchen was so quiet compared to the living room, I took my time making the bottle. I looked at my phone, Michelle had been away for 30 minutes now, _surely she wouldn't be much longer?_

After taking five minutes to make one small bottle I walked back into the living room, it was surprisingly quiet. Dan sat with Jack in his arms and his head propped slightly up by a cushion. Jack's eyes were closed, which was a relief. I stood at the door for a good couple of minutes, just admiring what I could see until Dan noticed me.

"Hey, sssh" He grinned and pointed at Jack.

I sat down carefully beside him and set the unnecessary bottle on the table. We both sat quietly, enjoying the silence. My phone began to ring from my pocket, I answered it quickly – hoping it wouldn't wake Jack.

"Hello" I said.

"Phil, I am so sorry, this is taking a lot longer than I thought" Michelle said.

"It's fine, he was crying for a while – but he's sleeping now" I told her.

"That's good, thank you so much" She replied.

I watched Dan and Jack, I almost wanted to take a picture to capture the moment.

"Dan" I said, "Do you ever think about having kids?" I asked.

Before I had known Dan I had always just assumed that sooner or later I would just get married and settle down, have a couple of kids and just be happy. Of course this was back when I thought I was straight, plus my life wasn't exactly normal now. My job wasn't exactly something everyone would consider a 'normal job'. But then again I never did picture myself with a normal job, being normal just wasn't me.

"I'd never really been interested in having kids, besides it's kind of impossible now isn't it?" He said, looking up at me.

"You never wanted kids?" I asked, feeling surprisingly disappointed.

"Not really, but sure it's not really a problem now, is it?" He asked.

"Well did you never want to get married or anything?" I asked, feeling progressively disappointed.

"I don't know Phil, I'm only twenty one. I haven't really given it much thought" He said.

I couldn't help but wonder how serious Dan really was about us. It sounds stupid but I had always imagined us getting married someday, but I guess that was showed the difference in Dan and I's commitment to this relationship. Kids weren't my top priority but I hated how Dan just ruled it out, just like that.

_But then again, he didn't even want to tell anyone we were together, why would he wanna get married?_

Dan's POV:

Phil looked at me, I could tell he was hurt but he was trying to hide it. I had to be honest with him, despite how bad I felt now. I hated being pressured with questions, especially about the future. I hated thinking about the future, it scared me, a lot.

"Dan are we ever going to even tell people?" Phil asked me.

"Of course" I said.

My throat tightened at the thought of telling people, PJ and Chris were one thing and Jennifer I barely knew – but the thought of telling my family terrified me. I had visions of my Dad telling me to leave and never come back and my Mum crying. _What if they didn't accept me? _

I hated that Phil was getting impatient and of course I would tell them someday – just not now.

"It's been almost two months, I hate hiding it from everyone" Phil said.

I looked down, unable to find something to say back. Telling everyone would make it, real.

"I don't know I just get the feeling your not as committed as I am" He said.

My chest tightened, _maybe I wasn't._

"Sorry I took so long" Michelle said, arriving at the door and interrupting our conversation.

"It's fine" Phil smiled.

Carefully I picked Jack up and put him back in his pram, his fidgeted slightly and then went back to sleep.

"Seems like you did a good job" She smiled.

Michelle stayed for about twenty minutes more, the tension between Phil and I was bad. If Michelle hadn't been here, we'd probably have been rowing. I almost dreaded her leaving, I was scared of what Phil would say.

I expected him to say something, even scream at me – I was prepared for the worst. Instead he stood up and said he was going to his room. His tone was cold, ice cold – it was almost worse than being yelled at.

**This was a weird chapter, idk. I hope you don't hate it and stuff – honestly the reviews are so nice. I only started this as a way to waste time, I didn't think anyone would even read it so thanks! x**


	22. Chapter 22

Dan's POV:

Phil and I didn't speak for the rest of the night, he stayed in his room – not even coming out for dinner. He left the house reasonably early this morning, leaving me wandering around the house alone, with nothing to do. I felt guilty but he had to understand I wasn't ready.

I opened my laptop and started answering vYou questions and procrastinating whilst I put off filming my new video.

I wondered where Phil was off to, and who with. But deep down it was pretty obvious who he was with. No matter how much I tried to convince myself – he was out with Molly.

Phil's POV:

I met Molly around the corner from the house, we were going for a walk in the park and then a coffee. I needed to clear my head, just when everything was so perfect. I spotted her in a black coat and her hair tied up. She gave me a hug and we began walking.

I guess it was fairly obvious something was wrong with me, because she realized and was asking me what was wrong before we even arrived at the park.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing, seriously" I said, but even I knew how unconvincing I was.

After ages of persuading, I finally broke. Not that it was very hard to break me, I usually gave in pretty quickly. I told her everything, leaving out Dan's name of course. She listened with wide eyes, nodding and looking like she was thinking things through. Once I had finished, she was unusually quiet – it wasn't like her.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her.

"Nothing, don't worry" She smiled.

"No seriously, any advice right now would be helpful" I told her.

"Phil, I don't understand why your with him. And more than that, I don't understand why he doesn't want to tell anyone. I mean, your perfect, anyone would be lucky to have you. If I was with you again, I'd want everyone to know" She said, looking down at the ground and then looking up at me again.

By this stage we had stopped in our path, I didn't know what to say. We stood and looked at each other, in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence. She moved closer to me, and closer and closer until our lips were touching. And I wasn't fighting it. I felt her tongue, move into my mouth. A surge of guilt ripped through me, winding me and causing me to pull away.

"That was a mistake" I said, feeling light-headed and confused.

She looked at me with her mouth open, clearly in as much shock as I was.

"That never happened" I said, and began walking away.

My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing, I felt hot. I was so angry, at myself. How could I do that? It only properly hit me as I got to the gate of the park, _I just cheated on Dan._

I sat down on the pavement, my back against the metal fence. I curled my knees up to my chest and then buried my head in them.

Most people who cheated, despite how much they try to hide it, always get found out. _What made me any different?_ I was a rubbish liar, always had been. But the thought of coming clean made me nauseous. I could see his reaction in my head, I could see him walking out and leaving me forever. _Why did I have to mess things up?_

Dan's POV:

I heard the front door getting unlocked, I walked out to the hall – there was Phil standing there. He looked down, without his usual happy smile on his face. And that was my fault, I had to make things better.

"Hey" I smiled.

"Hey Dan" He said back, hanging his coat up.

"I'm sorry about yesterday" I said.

"It's fine" He said, staring at his feet.

"It's not" I said, grabbing his hand and leading him to the sofa in the living room, "I hate that you don't think I care, I do".

Phil had a pained expression on his face, I wanted to fix things between us. Get the Dan and Phil back from the other night when we were curled up on the sofa watching movies.

"Let's just not talk about it, it's fine" He said, trying to smile at me.

"I pissed you off, we should at least talk about" I said, putting my hand on top of his.

"No Dan, I shouldn't be pressuring you. Coming out is a big deal, I should respect that" He said.

Phil offered to make some tea and got up and left me sitting on the sofa completely confused and still feeling a little bit guilty. He came back in with two mugs and a packet of digestives. I made another attempt to apologise, but he rejected it again.

"Dan listen, I love you okay, I always have, always will. Just don't forget that" He said, then taking a drink from his mug.

Phil's POV:

As I sat on the sofa next to the guy I loved more than life itself, the guilt was eating me alive. I had ruined everything. Dan sat trying to apologise for yesterday, but it made me feel even worse. I couldn't lie to him, not when honesty had always been so important to me. It was going to be one of the hardest things I had ever done.

I took myself upstairs, I lay on my bed and tried to find a way I could tell him. I came to the conclusion that no matter what fancy wording I used, Dan was still going to be upset.

"Phil what was all that about earlier? The whole 'I'll always love you'" Dan asked, standing at my door.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well you don't usually come out with that stuff everyday. Is something wrong? Are you dying or something?" He asked, sitting next to me on my bed.

"Dan, I have something to tell you. Please try not to hate me, it was a mistake" I said, taking his hand in mine.

"Okay I'm kind of worried now" He said, losing the sparkle in his eyes.

"Today at the park, Molly and I, we k-" I stuttered.

Dan's eyes filled with sadness, I felt more nauseous than I ever had my entire life. I could tell he knew where I was going, but was forcing his self to carry on listening.

"We kissed. It was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made" I told him.

"I don't want to hear any more" He said, simply removing his hand from mine, getting up and leaving my bedroom.

My heart shattered into a million pieces.


	23. Chapter 23

Dan's POV:

I walked into my room and lifted my bag. I wasn't in the right head space to pack practically so I packed a pair of black skinny jeans, a top, a pair of socks, my hat and some underwear. I couldn't think of what else I would need, but I didn't care. I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed for the door.

Phil followed me down the hall, begging for me to stop and listen for five minutes. But I couldn't listen to any more. I walked past him, stone-faced. I didn't want him to see how much I was hurting inside. I didn't know where I was going to go at 6pm, but I wasn't sticking around here.

Phil caught hold of my arm and spun me around, he had tears in his eyes.

"Don't touch me" I growled.

I continued walking, down the stairs and out the front door. Phil stood at the front door, tears now running down his face.

"Dan, I'm sorry! Please don't go!" He cried.

I carried on walking, the cold air hit my bare arms. It probably wasn't a good idea to leave without a jacket, but that was the least of my worries. I made it around the corner, the house was out of sight now. I dropped my bag on the ground and sat down on the wall. I held back a huge sob for as long as I possibly could, until tears were streaming down my face. Sniffing, I wiped them away with the back of my hand. _Dan Howell doesn't cry._

I took a moment to get myself together and called PJ, it was too late to go the whole way down to Manchester.

"Hello" PJ said cheerfully.

"Hey Peej, can I stay with you tonight?" I asked.

"What's happened? Wait just tell me when you get here" He said.

PJ's house was only fifteen minutes away, I opted for walking instead of a taxi to give myself a chance to get my head straight. It was cold out, goose bumps appeared on my arms and it looked like it was going to rain any second now.

One drop, two drops, three drops all fell on my face. I stopped and lifted my hat out of my bag to protect my hair, the last thing I needed was hobbit hair. My hands and feet were turning numb in the cold. I carried on walking, I took a sigh of relief as I could see PJ's house at the end of the street he was at. I knocked on his door.

"Hey PJ" I said forcing a smile.

"Dan come in, you're soaking" He said ushering me in.

I got changed into the only other clothes I had and joined PJ in the living room.

"Did you and Phil have a fight?" He asked.

"It was more than a fight, he cheated on me PJ" I said sullenly.

"What?" He exclaimed, looking more than shocked.

I nodded.

I watched him search for something to say, but I knew there was nothing he could say to make it better.

"Sorry man" He said, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks" I said.

"And you can stay here for as long as you want" PJ smiled.

PJ went to the kitchen to make hot chocolate, I sat on the sofa. It didn't seem real, it just seemed like a bad dream. One that I was going to wake up from and then go down stairs and see Phil sitting in the kitchen with his cereal and suddenly everything would be better. I knew sooner or later I would have to go back to the house, it was my house as well after all. All of my stuff was there too, my laptop and my clothes.

Phil's POV:

I lay curled up in bed, I had cried non-stop since Dan had left. The remains of my dried up tears still sat on my face. I was all cried out now. I'd had my heart broken before, but never like this, because this time it was my fault. I wanted nothing more than to go back two nights ago, when Dan fell asleep in my arms and everything seemed perfect. _Phil, why do you always mess everything up?_

I wondered where Dan even us, I assumed he was at Chris or PJ's house. I heard my phone alert me I had a new text message, probably Molly again. I couldn't speak to her, she had left over ten voice mails and fifteen texts but even still. I looked at my phone, it was from PJ.

'Dan's here' It read.

I felt relieved, knowing that he wasn't out drinking himself to death in an alleyway somewhere.

'How is he?' I text back.

'Not good' PJ replied, almost immediately.

I wanted to try and call him, even though I knew there was no point. He wouldn't pick up and even if he did, every second word would be a swear word. I had to at least give him the night to calm down. _Phil how did you screw up the best thing that ever happened to you?_

**Ahh,three chapters today. I was on a roll! Hope you all like them and don't hate the plot twist. Ok thanks for reading, bye!3 x**


	24. Chapter 24

Dan's POV:

I had been staying at PJ's for a few days now, but I felt like I was getting in the way. There was a whole bundle of missed calls from Phil, text messages too. I didn't wanna talk to him. I would go through phases of missing him, wishing I was back at home with him. But then I remember what he did and there was no way I could ever go back there.

I didn't see anyway around it, I was going to have to go back to Manchester – at least for a little while. The thought of explaining to my parents everything scared me, even more than it used too.

"Dan, I'm going into university for a little while okay?" PJ called from the hall way.

"Okay" I shouted back.

He shared the place with a few other people, but they were hardly ever around during the day. But they were nice, so it was hardly ever a problem when they were around.

I heard PJ talking to someone at the door, there was no-one else home so I went to check out who it was. There was Phil, standing at the door, begging PJ to let him in so he could talk to me. I made my way to the door and PJ and Phil suddenly noticed me.

"Dan, please just let me talk to you" Phil cried.

PJ glanced at me and then at Phil, I could tell this was affecting him two. I didn't want to force him to choose between two of his friends.

"Phil there's nothing else you can really say" I said.

"Just let me explain" He said quietly.

I looked at my feet, I knew I was gonna let him in.

"Five minutes" I said, trying to sound as icy as I could.

I walked into the living room, conscious of Phil behind me. I heard the front door shut, so I was certain PJ had just left. Sheepishly, I took a seat in the big armchair that sat at the top of the room. I was unable to make eye contact with Phil, but at the same time all I wanted to do was cuddle up next to him.

_But I had to stay strong._

"Dan, I know what I did was wrong, you have to know that" Phil said sitting down on the sofa.

I stared out of the window throughout the entire conversation.

"It was more than wrong Phil" I said bluntly.

"You can't make me feel any worse than I already do" He sighed.

I turned to him, I could already feel myself turning weak. I was close to just forgiving him and asking him to take me home. But I knew I had to stay strong, Phil obviously didn't care that much about me.

"Phil" I said, trying to keep the icy tone despite the fact my voice was wavering. "I trusted you, I thought you loved me. Why did you kiss her?".

His face fell from being sad to distraught. He felt guilty, I could tell and he should.

"Dan I love you more than anything. It was a mistake that I would take back in a second" He said.

I couldn't look at him, I wanted nothing more than to get back with him. But I had too much pride, I also had too much pride to even show just how upset I really was. I always told myself that if my partner ever cheated, then I was out of there – no questions asked. But Phil was different, he was more than just a partner he was my best friend. He was one of the most important people in my life. Before this I wondered where I would be without him, he was the reason I was doing what I loved.

"Dan if I didn't love you I wouldn't have by your beside for weeks" He said.

"If you loved me you would have pulled away immediately" I said, my voice wavering more than ever now.

_How could I ever take him back?_

Phil's POV:

I watched Dan as he spoke, my heart broke into a million more pieces. Despite how well he tried to hide it I could tell he was devastated. And he had the right to be. Inside I was still kicking myself for kissing Molly back, this goes down as the biggest mistake of my life.

"Can you ever forgive me Dan?" I said, swallowing a huge lump in my throat.

He continued looking out the window, because that way I couldn't see his expression.

"I just don't know" He said sounding not only sad, but frustrated.

"Well what are you gonna do now? You can't stay in PJ's forever" I said.

"I know, I'm gonna go home to Manchester for a while" He said, regaining that icy tone I hated.

"Just know that no matter when you came back, even if it's days, weeks, months – I'll be waiting in _our _house for you" I said getting up off the sofa.

"Bye Dan" I said.

I walked back into the cold street, leaving Dan in the house alone. What does one do, knowing how much they have stuffed up their life? I kept punishing myself, thinking back to the past few weeks – how great things had been. Dan was mine, I had spent so long fighting for him just to blow it in seconds. _Well done Phil, you never did know when you __had it good._

**I think as much as it pains me to say this, I might wrap this story up soon. I don't see many other stories with over twenty chapters – am I a freak? Hahaha, plus I don't want it to get boring. Hmm I think I said this in my last chapter? Ah well, so hope you enjoyed. Thanks for the reviews, this story has over 5,000 views now, so erm WOW! Okay bye! x**


	25. Chapter 25

Dan's POV:

I hugged PJ goodbye and thanked him for letting me stay, I made sure I told him just how much I appreciated it. My stomach felt nauseous in a nervous way, I had called my Mum and told her I was coming home for a week or so. My last stop before my train ride to Manchester was my house, I had to get some stuff.

I walked up the steps and let myself in, I felt awkward like someone does when they are expected at their friends house and told to just 'let themselves in'. Which was stupid, as it was my house too. I prayed Phil wasn't in, even though there was a 99% chance he was.

I unlocked the door and headed straight up the stairs. This time I lifted a bigger bag, I filled it with numerous t-shirts, jeans and pairs of underwear and socks. I made sure I packed my laptop and any other miscellaneous things I might need. Behind me I could hear my door open, I was nervous to turn around.

"I'm just getting some things, I'll be gone soon" I told Phil, without even turning around.

"You don't have to go Dan. Just stay here and we can try and work things out" Phil said.

Sadly I shook my head, deep down we both knew that wouldn't work. I carried on packing, now throwing hoodies in and pushing down on them to try and fit them in.

"Some space will be good Phil, it'll give us both a chance to clear our heads" I said.

"I don't need space though, I need you" Phil said quietly.

My stomach flipped, I felt sick. I second-guessed myself, _was going to Manchester a good idea?_ Yet I forced myself to continue packing, trying not to look at Phil.

"I have to do this Phil, everything is so fucked up" I told him, finally looking at him.

He looked down at the ground and left my room, I took out my phone and called a taxi to the train station. My hands were shaking, which made it hard to dial the number. I went out to the hall to begin to carry my huge bag of things down the stairs, there was Phil sitting on the stairs – in a child-like position.

Fifteen minutes later I saw the light outside the front door, showing that there was a car outside – presumably the taxi. I put my hand on the front door handle and took one look back at Phil. He was still sitting on the stairs, looking at his feet.

"Wait Dan" He said, getting up and walking towards me.

He planted a kiss on my lips, an unexpected one.

"Remember what I said, I'm gonna be here waiting on you" He said.

I nodded, still a bit stunned about the kiss as I made my way to the taxi.

By four o'clock in the afternoon I was sitting on the train, drinking a coffee and tucking into a packet of crisps I had bought from the vending machine. I checked my Tumblr tag, pictures of llamas and my face edited on to llamas loaded before me. I grinned to myself, the Danosaurs always knew how to make me feel better. I kept scrolling, Delia Smith pictures, jokes about placenta – it was all I could do to stop myself from bursting out laughing on the train.

One more scroll and I saw a picture, a 'Phan' picture. It was four GIFs, the first one of Phil tackling me to the ground in one of our first videos. The second one of Phil pretending to comfort me in one of my videos and the last two were of Phil and I giving each other long glances in the middle of videos, eye contact I had never really noticed before.

My heart ached, I had spent the entire train ride telling myself I didn't miss Phil, when it was evident that I did.

Nearly four hours later I was walking up to the front door of the house I grew up in. I hadn't been home since Christmas. I knocked at the door, holding my bag in my other hand. My Mum answered the door, she threw her arms around me.

"Dan" She laughed, "Oh I've missed you".

I dropped my bag on the ground and hugged her back. I had a weak moment where all I wanted to do was cry into her shoulder and ask her to make everything better. But I wasn't ten any more, so I held back the tears.

My Dad came down the stairs.

"Hello son" He grinned, patting me on the shoulder as I was still in mid-hug with my Mum.

She finally pulled away and brought me inside, my Dad took my bag.

It was weird being home, the familiar smell of the house, seeing my parents – it was a good weird though. I walked through to the living room and there was my younger brother Adrian, sitting on the sofa. I threw myself down beside him.

"I didn't think you'd be here so soon" He said.

"Yeah the train ride was fairly quick" I replied.

He had grown a lot since I last seen him. He was nearly seventeen now, everyone said he looked like a mini-me but being like most siblings, I never saw the similarity. I would never say it to him, but I had missed him.

"So what brings you home? Your Mother never said" My Dad asked.

"I was just missing home, and you guys a bit. Plus I haven't been home since Christmas" I bluffed.

There was no point in telling them the real reason I was here was because my relationship – that they didn't know about – with my best friend had ended. I hadn't even gotten round to telling them I was bisexual. It seemed to real to tell them, I'd rather keep it quiet for as long as possible.

**Hi everyone, when I said wrap it up, I meant I was gonna finish the story I was just worried I was beginning to bore everyone. But some of you seem happy for me to continue and that makes me happy ^_^ So thank you for the nice reviews, they make me smile. :D Btw I don't know Dan's Mum and Dad's names, so I guess I'll just refer to them as 'My Mum' and 'My Dad'. But yeah hope you enjoy, bye!**


	26. Chapter 26

Phil's POV:

The sunlight hit my face, through a small crack in my curtains. I turned over with my back to my window but there was no way I was getting back to sleep now. I sat up and checked my phone, 10:23 it read.

Yet again, I was disappointed to see no new messages on my home screen. Dan had been away for nearly two weeks now and I hadn't heard from him since he told me to give him space. It was a battle not to text him every moment of the day, but maybe the space will do us good. Maybe he'll finally be able to forgive me.

Of course than fans were beginning to pick up on things, why neither of us were never in each other's live shows any more and why Dan was back in his old bedroom. It made things worse, I was dying to see him. _Surely he was going to have to come home eventually? _

Nothing seemed worth doing any more, my days consisted of sitting in the living room playing sonic in my pyjamas. PJ and Chris would invite me out, but what was the point?

Sadly enough, I would check Dan's twitter a thousand times a day to see what he was up too. It made me realize just how bad things had gotten, I used to be able to tell him anything and now I'm creeping his twitter just to see if he's okay. I couldn't help but wonder if I crossed his mind much, or was he having the time of his life out there in Manchester.

PJ came over, he was convinced I wasn't dealing with things and that I might need to talk. But there was nothing left to say, I had screwed things up and Dan hated me because of it.

"There must be something you can do" PJ said.

"PJ you seen him, he hates me. He'll never get over it" I sighed.

"Phil you can't think like that, since when did you just give up?" He asked.

As much as I hated to admit it, he did strike a nerve. It was true that I was never one for giving up and it was the last thing I wanted.

"Dan's in Manchester for a reason Peej" I said.

"Yeah but if he matters enough to you, you'll fight for him" PJ said.

"You know how much he matters for me" I sighed.

"Phil you can't just sit here and feel sorry for yourself" PJ exclaimed.

I shook my head hopelessly at him, he stood up from the sofa.

"Anyway, I 'gotta head I have to be somewhere" PJ said.

I saw him out and then slumped back on to the sofa again, back to 'feeling sorry for myself'.

Dan's POV:

I almost felt like I was sixteen again, I had been home for nearly two weeks. I had spent most of my days watching TV, surfing the internet and playing xbox with my brother. Almost everything was done for me, washing, ironing, cooking – so I couldn't complain.

Phil was constantly on my mind, small things throughout the day reminded me of him. I was almost certain I was ready to go back to London, but was I ready to go back to Phil? He hadn't even attempted to contact me, which left a sickly feeling in my stomach. I had a worse case scenario in my head, that as I was here 'playing hard to get' he had run off with Molly and had not given me a second thought. I was in two minds, I didn't want to forgive him easily _but did I want to lose him?_

Quite often I tried to distract myself by making more videos than normal, answering more vYou questions and doing more live shows. The fans were noticing something weird was going on, they were asking why I wasn't at home in London and why I was back at home again. I had even seen a few phanfics about Phil and I having a fight and me moving home – which wasn't far from the truth. I shrugged it off of course, saying I was just visiting home and that Phil and I were perfectly fine. I hated lying to them, but this was personal business that I just couldn't have them involved in. More than anything, the idea of coming out to not just my family but thousands of people, petrified me – even if I did know the majority would actually be happy.

Phil's POV:

Even after PJ left I still couldn't get our conversation out of my head, probably because I knew he was right – PJ was always right. I couldn't just sit here and mope about Dan, I had to at least try, I had to do something.

I text PJ, telling him he was right. I knew he already knew this, but I also knew that he didn't get tired of hearing it. I told PJ my plan, my plan to get a train up to Manchester and knock on his door. I was going to tell him I was sorry, I was going to get down on my knees and beg if I had too. But best of all, to sweeten the deal I had malteasers – one of Dan's favourite things in the entire world.

I got a text from PJ, telling me to come outside. I wandered to my front door, confused.

Outside, there was PJ, standing there in front of a new shiny blue car.

"Surprise" He yelled.

"Wow Peej, is this yours? How did you afford it?" I asked.

"The insurance from the accident and I also had to add a bit, but it was worth it" He grinned.

I smiled and inspected his car, it was a nice car.

"And the least I can do is give you a lift up to Manchester" He smiled.

I ran and threw my arms around his shoulder. I whispered 'thank you'. After grabbing everything I could possibly need, I hopped into the car, along with PJ. Buckling up for the long trip ahead, I was nervous, but also excited. I just hoped it all went to plan.

**Ahh, had a bit of writer's block about this chapter. It's really just a chapter to fill in some blanks, all the good stuff happens next chapter ^_^ THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT OMG3 You guys are the greatest! Someone told me I shouldn't just cut the story off and that it wouldn't do it justice – so I'm gonna write until I'm completely out of ideas :p **


	27. Chapter 27

Phil's POV:

I sat in PJ's new car, the nerves causing my leg to shake. I got more and more nervous as I could tell we were getting closer, my heartbeat quickened and the palms of my hands sweated. Past all the nerves, I couldn't wait to see Dan, those big brown eyes, I just hoped he was just as excited to see me. PJ tried his best to calm me down, talking about his new video, telling me jokes and as much as I appreciated it, it wasn't working. I couldn't sit still in the seat, changing the way I sat every couple of minutes.

I began to become familiar with the streets and shops around me, now I was verging on terrified. I passed through my old town and was filled with the feeling of nostalgia for a couple of seconds before the nerves came flooding back.

"Phil, you're gonna be fine" PJ laughed.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous, but I just am" I replied.

We began to get closer and closer, then we pulled into Dan's neighbourhood. PJ parked the car around the corner of Dan's street, he said he didn't want to ruin the 'romantic' moment that was about to occur.

"Now don't come back without Dan" PJ said, trying to crack a joke.

I stepped out of the car, feeling slightly light-headed, I had a rush of adrenaline and began walking – malteasers in one hand. As I began getting closer and closer, it reminded me of when we first became friends and I would come and visit every week.

I hesitated at the door, many times I put my hand up to knock but quickly pulled it away again. It was now or never, PJ and I didn't come this whole way for nothing. Before I knew it I was knocking on the door. I heard noise on the other side and then someone fidgeting with lock. I took a deep breath.

The door opened and I braced myself to see Mrs Howell, standing in her cooking apron. This plan wasn't going exactly the way I wanted it too.

"Phil" She smiled, "Hello, I haven't seen you in a long time".

"Hello, is Dan there?" I asked, feeling like I was ten years old calling for my friend to come out and play.

She nodded and shouted up the stairs to him, I heard a door open upstairs, at first I saw the feet at the top of the stairs. And then knees, then a waist and torso and then his face, his rather shocked looking face.

"Phil? What are you doing here?" He asked, stepping outside and shutting the door after him.

"I came to say sorry and to tell you how much you mean to me" I told him.

"You could have said sorry over the phone" He grumbled, sitting down on the steps outside his front door.

"Yeah, but I couldn't give you these over the phone" I said and handed him the malteasers.

"Thanks" He said, still not looking at me.

"Dan, I'm not leaving here without you. I love you and deep down I know you know that" I told him.

"But you kissed Molly" He said, fiddling with the packet of malteasers.

"And I will happily spend the rest of my life making up for that" I said.

He finally looked up at me, those brown eyes hadn't looked at me the same way since I told him about the kiss. I held his hand in mine and this time, he didn't pull his away – instead he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Do you promise you'll never do it again?" He asked.

"I would never make such a stupid mistake, I have learnt my lesson" I said earnestly.

"Okay then" He said with a slight smile.

"Okay what?" I asked.

"I'll go get my bags" He said, now with a full grin on his face.

"Really?" I said, with an even bigger grin on my face.

Dan nodded, I kissed him, harder than I had ever kissed someone before. I had missed kissing these lips. Dan pulled away, he brought me into the house and told me to wait in the hall as he got his belongings. He said goodbye to his family, not being allowed to leave without promising he'll visit again soon.

As we left the house, as soon as we were out of sight I grabbed his hand. I could've skipped down the street I was so happy. We caught sight of the car again and I could see PJ smiling through the overhead mirror. I felt like I was on a cloud.

"Are we ready to go home then?" PJ grinned.

Dan and I looked at each-other, both with smiles on our faces.

"Yep" I smiled.

We loaded Dan's things into the car and hit the road, back to London. I was looking forward to waking up to see Dan, living in the house alone just wasn't the same. Things could finally return to normal. I rested my head on Dan's shoulder as we sat in the car, and on top of mine, he rested his.

**Hiya! Okay so I'm sorry I got the name of where Dan's family lived wrong, I knew they didn't live in Manchester but I'm not from England and I couldn't remember where they were from. Should I go back and change it? Also, I might continue this story on another story – kind of like a sequel? Idk, is that a good idea? Or would it be easier to just keep this one? Haha, oh gosh im so indecisive. **


	28. SEQUEL TIME!

**Hi everyone! So this is just to let you know that I started a sequel for this story, it's called 'Phan Confessions. (Sequel).' SO PLEASE GO AND READ IT! A lot of you were up for a sequel so I just hope I do it justice! All the support for this story is so appreciated you have no idea, your reviews are always so nice! So yeah, here's a link for it: ** s/8693218/1/Phan-confessions-Sequel


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